I really don’t understand how selfish can you get.

You have changed a person because of your own selfishness. I don’t know how more selfish can you get. You can come to me and tell me I am being over. I really don’t get it. This person has never been this way but because of you, this person changed. It is annoying somehow.

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Oh my freaking gosh!~~ you know what? I have just finished trials.

And i thought I can get some rest. But unfortunately, I have just found out that I have got a 2nd trials. What the heck rite? Which means I have to stress myself and study all over again to outdo trials 1 so that I can have a better forecast result. I am somehow annoyed over this stupid ridiculous decision to have another trials. Well, not like I have any other choice!!~

I thank God for a Friday that really cheered me up.

Nevertheless, Justin ditch-ed me for some shooting but well, I wasn’t too disappointed with BL either. Went out with him on Friday. I hopped on to the same train he did in Pandan Jaya station as his station was before mine. His car something happened. So, we went to KLCC!!~

We were quite rushed. We reached there and he went to buy movie tickets (not buy. redeem) and I went to grab a bite as I was really hungry and I bought him his water and all too ler.

We watched Perfect Stranger (don’t ask me how I managed to get into this 18 PL show). It is a show with a great twist yet with a lot of *ahem* parts but they censored all the F-words and all.

Then we went around walking aimlessly till about 6pm. From 1 to 6 we were out. And as usual, crap a lot and played a fool a lot too. Nevertheless, it was aimless, but it made my day or should I say it makes me holiday? Since I did not go out anywhere for holiday?

At night, i came back for ROCK rehearsal. Those people never expected me to show up. However I did showed up. But even if I wasn’t there, Justin was there to take over my place. So, things are still fine. And had such a late dinner and all. I never eat much that day anyway. Basically, I ate only popcorns. So, thats all about it.

We don’t camwhore, so, no pictures. Will see how next time.

If you don’t know who BL is, then maybe you should ASK!~ =P

Somehow I don’t enjoy the one week holidays I am having.

It’s no fun. My life plays around with studies and work. Thats basically it.

Other the my companion, handphone. There is nothing else can make me smile.

I mean it is not only bored, but it gives me this miserable feeling. And my trials are half way through. So, wad do you think I am going through?

I know I stand no where in complaining because many are going through the same thing but I don’t know. I am not in the mood. I don’t know whether tomoro, Friday, will be great but I hope it will be. It will just give me a conclusion of whether this holiday is good or bad. Really. I am not too happy with how things are right now.

Why must it go back to square one? If you have not heard all about this stupid government matriculation thing, you wouldn’t be so supportive. It has always been a firm decision that after SPM that I will do private colleges but now this seems like just-a-dream. Now after hearing about this matriculation thing, you tell me you have no money. I am so tired of it. Apply all you want.

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Yes, NS list is coming out on Monday. I really don’t freaking care if my name is there. Go if there is, stay if there isn’t. It’s perfectly simple. I mean who wants to go. I don’t really agree that NS can instill patriotism and build good physiques. But it’s not like I have a freaking choice right. It is gonna ruin all my plans but well, looking it at the brighter side, I get to get out of home.

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And I’d say ‘PADAN MUKA’ in your face. Think that you guys are damn great, damn powerful. This is what you get when you are 101% confident- 100% failure. Now the whole KL is laughing at you guys for not making it. It jst proves their point that you guys won by luck. Arrogant fools! I dunno what was meant by 90% winning nationals finals.

I know I am just plain evil and mad now. Very. No mood. And who the hell really cares if trials are on. I don’t!~ =(

I have not blogged some time. Been lazy-ish to log in to blogspot when my computer lags like hell. It annoys me. Trials are basically coming up next week and what I have studied for the past 2 years is not in my brain. I don’t know how I have been seating for exams and test the few months ago but I am finally awake. But there is no point because I have been trying to study and nothing enters my head. Seriously, that feeling sucks. You are trying your best and yet your brain is like rejecting it. Well, I am still fighting the race with much endurance, have not give up just yet. Yes, I am scared but it doesn’t really matters.

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It was my birthday. I have finally turned 17 when the clock strikes 12.

SMSes started to flood my phone at 12 midnight.

People like Su Chen, Lai Shan, Lynette etc etc whom I think stayed up just to wish me Happy Birthday kicked off my day. At 6 in the morning, Grace Chu sent a message all the way from Sarawak. And well, Jono did sms me all the way from Brisbane too in the noon.

With much anticipation, I went to school thinking that it’ll be a good day. Well, it wasn’t that bad either actually. I was suppose to do Morning Duty (MD) in the gate. And it was non-stop people greeting me Happy Birthday; from juniors to friends- Justin, Sarveen, Wan Yu, Thong Leong did greet me. They remembered!- to my amazement. Was giving them a big wide smile; feeling great.

After school at about 1.30, I decided to skip pengesanan for Chemistry- the stupid test.

I rushed home, took a short rest, showered and online-ed a while before going to Times Square. Did i mention the person who SUPPOSED to be celebrating this day with me went for a camp and ditched me? Sigh.. Nevertheless, 2-3 days before, the bro, I meant Ben Leon asked me out. So with no plans in mind, I agreed. So, the place we were suppose to meet each other was in Times Square. On my way to Times Square, he sms-ed and told me he would be late and that I should get the tickets for Simpsons for the 315 movie first. So, I did.

Was walking around, and browsing through some Drama Books in BORDERS. And guess what, the bro of mine only turned up at 340. Well, wanted to merajuk a bit but well, I decided not too. Cause he was feeling really bad already. It wasn’t on purpose, his Maths teacher dragged the extra class on and on. So, when he reached, we rushed right into the cinema. We missed the front part!!!!

Well, after the show, we walked over to Sungai Wang since my bro came out without money and he decided to withdraw some money. Drizzling though. Went back to Times Square since I decided I want to lepak in Time Square instead of Sungai Wang. We then went to his car to throw my bag and he wanted to change. Was taking some time going around the food stalls around Times Square. We ended up having lunch at Mr Ramen. Then he passed me my cake. And well, we talked and walked around there. Manja-ed a lil and all. Then he left me at about 6 something since he said he is worry his dad will kill him or something.

BROOO!~~ I thank you for all the memories you had given me. I really didn’t mind that you were late. I know how bad you felt. You girlfriend did tell me too. And the fact that I know you were close to tears when you noticed how late you were touched me. You did tell me that you do love me although you don’t show it. And I want to tell you that- i know it and same goes here! And it made me feel worst in return to find out that you almost met with an accident while rushing to meet me =(. It makes me feel indeed priviliged and thankful to get you as my brother. I would never want to change any single bit of it.

But what? Lai Shan didn’t manage to join us. How sad la brooooo~~

After he leaving me, I went to Church for rehearsal for ROCK SUNDAY.

And yeah, I am sorry that I had to ditched Mr Justin Lee. I didn’t know that I promised him that I would meet him. I am indeed sorry lor. Since he asked if he can only spend some time with me. I can’t bring you out riteee? ISH!

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ORIENTATION

Eh, come on guys. You want my signature. Don’t come being rude and all. I just hate it. I know I am being mean but so what?

For the girls, don’t come pulling and holding my shirt and sleeves and my hands. The whole school is watching.

And for the guys, watch what you are doing and saying.

I do give free tasks and I do sign, but somehow you guys just annoys me. That is the reason I bombard you guys with many tasks. I don’t freaking care if you have trials and all. Be angry with me, so what? You lose out in the end. I have standard and quality okay? Don’t come to me and give me pieces of paper and say that it is a bookmark. I really mean I would tear in your face. Don’t get me mad. Don’t tell me you want to do this and that. It is not your choice. IT IS MINE.

Some of you, I know are torture you guys like cats and dogs to get my sign. But look at yourself, who you truly are. How respectful you are towards me. Don’t greet me only because you need my signature to pass okay? I really mean it. It is starting to get a lil too much when you guys go despo and crazy. You guys going around to beg and all. It is way over the boundaries.

You think you guys know best. I am often misunderstood lately. Being misunderstood by everyone and anyone around me. Am I that unpredictable or is my words that twist-able?

I really don’t get it.I was just trying to make a point for the benefit of the team. Yes yes yes, I did say that you guys got first place by luck but what? Can you guys just listen to me before digesting the first phrase of what I wanted to tell? What I wanted to convey to you guys is that, YES, YOU HAVE WON YOURSELF A TRIP. What I meant by telling you people that you won by luck was to actually buck up.

I cannot change the results and I won’t want too. It is my school, a team that is representing the school and indirectly representing me. Why would I want to critisize you guys? All I meant was that you guys buck up and prove that you guys didn’t win by luck to others. I wasn’t insulting you guys. But what I meant was that you guys have been chosen to go Langkawi and many are saying that you guys won by luck. You guys should buck up and re-do and re-edit the weaknessed before going to Langkawi and to prove others wrong?

And you guys tell me with pride and arrogance that I was trying to critisize. I want you guys to win Langkawi too. I don’t care what has past. And if I was a bad director last year, I am sorry. Maybe it was totally my fault to that i brought you guys to failure. But at this point, you guys should be open to criticism and try to edit as much before it is too late. I don’t want to see St John’s or the KL team coming back without the Champions trophy.

And stop uttering those F words towards me. I was just telling you guys what other school said. And if you think they are sore losers, some of them didn’t participate. They were just visiting and observing schools. You know it just shows me how matured you guys are, uttering the F word to me just because I said something that you guys didn’t want to hear. And pride- the downfall of all men.

If I was that evil to not let you guys win, I would have not prayed that hard before the results were announced. Seriously, I was praying that He answers my prayers. And yes, my God did answer and it turn you guys into arrogant pigs. Come on people!!!~ WAAAKE UPPP!!

No one wants to see you guys get even a second place in Langkawi. We are in the same school. How uncivilised am i if i told you I am supporting another team? Ask around my friends whether I have ever degraded the drama team. I have never and will never do that. No matter whether I am in or not, it is still my pride.

If I meant to insult you guys, there are many other ways. Just think for yourselves. Last year, more than 40 schools participated and it was held in 3 venues, top 2 enters the final. While this year, more than 20 schools participated and it was held in 2 venues, top 3 enters the final and the winners get a bypass. Just use some of your brain juices and do the math yourself. Stop saying that I was insulting you and all. I can do it in many other ways if I want too. I was just doing for the benefit of the school and team. How much have i protected the name of the drama team in front of my friends and this is that thanks i get.

I don’t need thanks, if you guys don’t insult and curse me, thats already fine with me!

If anyone of you read this, just hope you understand that I was doing it for the good of you guys.

The words i said about being lucky and all were really not from my mouth. It was from a few people.

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San Francisco, an advance birthday i’ll never forget…

And oh, someone treated me Kim Garyyyyy!!!~~~~ wahahaha