Monthly Archives: April 2009


Hey guys,

I am officially in Melbourne, Australia. The past 3days and 2nights has been fantastic with great food comprising Malaysian, Italian, Western, Vietnamese and some sort of everything. Trust me. All the weight I lose 2months ago will now all return. Argh. Plus my belt is so freaking lose now. Helpppp!!!

But life’s here been nothing but great! I mean I am missing people back home. The comfort of my Super Single Bed and Bolster. My family, my close friends and all. I do miss them. The weather here is approximately 6 degrees celcious. And I am currently wearing shorts and t shirt with short sleeves with no socks. I am enjoying the weather.

Australia has nothing much different than Malaysia apart from weather, time zone (2 hours faster), people and I’ve got no idea.

The food servings here are for big sized people. A plate of steak here can’t be finished by 2 persons.

Thats all for now and Goodnights!

goodbye Msia, welcome Aussie

My last post before I leave in another few hours time.

I am flying off tomorrow at 145pm. Have to leave about 10am to the airport.

Feeling great yet reluctant. My drugs. Scary. Someone’s leaving. Unhappy.

Well, God always has His own purpose. I’ve chosen to surrender what is gonna happen to Him and Him alone.

He will do great and mighty things in my life.

Australia: Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane: Here I come.

I miss the people in KL so much. I am already feeling it.

My youths are such great and nice people. I guess they are a bunch of crazy people I will miss most. No matter how many of you there, it’s always great fellowship. Great time.

Goodbye Kuala Lumpur. See you after 15 days.

I will try to update a little if I can. No promises. Keep your spamming on my posts and tagboard going okay? 😉


it’s all in the nose!
it’s all in the heart!
as if my care was all in vain!

do you ever feel me?

I thought I could

Somehow I feel the sense of losing someone already.
I know I have not lost the person; even though its we are separated distance apart.
Knowing your coming 2 years, I suddenly feel all alone.
I know, Life still goes on..
But how is life gonna be?
I have got no idea.

I hope I won’t lose you.
Seeing the flashbacks of my mind the past 2 years just sucks.
It brought me more pain than joy.
However, there was also some moments where I was really made happy.
I don’t want the pain to go on.

Just when I thought things got a little better between us, you are going off.

I realised I have not been doing enough the past 1 week =(
And I am leaving on Monday.
I think what I am doing is of no impact at all.
Not significance. No difference.
I just hope what we are doing now will bring me strong memories I can keep.
The pictures took, the things bought, the gifts – will all now be the only treasure I have after your departure.
But how much are there?
Pictures? I suppose just a few. Nothing great =(
Things? I got no idea
Gifts? The belt is the one and only!

My life is in a deep dilemma.
I can never find someone who understands me as much.

I know I have failed miserably.
I did thought I was okay, But every time I think about it, I ain’t okay.
I did thought I can sail through this, but I am worried of how things will be.
I know you and your treatment for me too well.


I am pressing on, despite what.
I am looking at things as positively as I can.
As bright as I can.
And spend these precious few days more…

I don’t care how you behave but I will give in my best.

Thats as much as I can do.

I don’t even feel like working anymore tomorrow and Friday.,
I am looking forward to Australia. Looking forward for time to come faster.
But not looking forward to May 12th. Thats for sure.

But what can I do?
What memories of you do I have to keep?
I wonder…

I thought

I thought I got over it but I’ve not. I am taking it in little by little and am doing fine.

Perhaps, I am not being emotional. I don’t know but the feelings are playing around with me.

I wished I can spend the last about 10days before you leave with you – with quality. Doing things that would makes us remember forever. I know for sure Movies, will be something I remember. But I wished that it can be more than just movies. I know I feel demanding. But I don’t want to remember Movies as the things we have done. I want to make an impact and be impacted by you before you leave.

Well, you have already made the impact in my life.

Gahhh… I don’t know what crap I am talking… Sigh

pieces patching back bit by bit

I am putting myself back together after some emotional rundown. It has never been any tougher but I am persistent in doing so. I am gonna put myself back to pieces because I believe everything is gonna be fine.I hope. I pray.

It took me quite a while just now to absorb it and to digest the fact. But I am happy that you are happy. I am happy that your dream since ages ago is coming through.

The pieces of me is going through all kinds of emotions – happy, sad, worried etc etc. but there is nothing I can do to change the fact that you will leave. But I will never change and I hope you won’t too. I can’t change whether or not you will change but I won’t.

Having someone close to you at times feels just so good. Someone to hear you out. Someone to get you going. Someone to encourage you. Someone to annoy you and apologise later. Someone to get you laughing – it all feels so good. In fact, it made me who I am today.

I know I can never find another whom I can be all-honest with. Someone I don’t hide any secrets with. Someone who allows me to release my tantrums on and end up pujuking and never fails to make me smile again. I can never find another.

Distance makes the heart grows fonder? This is the first time someone close to me leaving me (although not that far but its still a distance). Does distance really makes the heart grows fonder?

I pray distance won’t be the boundaries. I am still patching myself back together while writing this. But I am sure I will be fine soon enough. I know my God above have bigger and better plans and I am looking forward to more! :)

Really random

Read this. I am in a very random mood now. You may understand what I am to write or maybe not but read on. Some may really make you laugh. And before you go on reading, I want to tell everyone that I am a superly good good boy okay? Nothing naughty. It’s just for laughs. But do comment on what you are going to see.

1. Firstly, I think my motives for working now is ultimately wrong. I don’t enjoy the process but I enjoy getting the pay. Well, the pay in Starbucks Malaysia is not superly or very high, perhaps, not high at all. So at times, lately, I am getting a little bit lazy. Don’t blame me for that. The rest of them there are worst except for a few. They take time off to chill, smoke, lepak and all the things you can think of. But some of them are really nice!

2. You won’t believe this. People that comes to Starbucks in Times Square are a little bit crazy. People that comes – customers. I’ve picked up this card thingy while I was clearing some tables.

Can you see clearly what its written? Let me enlighten you:
‘Sir, you want any nice young lady, I can recommend for you young and beautiful girl’

As for the Chinese word, I can only see:
DATE, FULSEX, 1.00pm – 6.00am.

Anyone who needs things like that? I pass you the number? :P. The phrases are so grammatically wrong!

3. There was this random customer who came by and saw my Malay colleague working. And he daringly asked for her number but she refused. And what he did…

Waaa.. So daring right? Ask my colleague to call him!! He just wrote his number on the receipt. This is what you call freedom? Freedom of expressions of love? :P. I was like, are you kidding me?
All these funny little things in Starbucks makes your day at times. Doesn’t exactly makes your day but it gets you going.
4. I am feeling terribly guilty over things I’ve done over the past few weeks. I have been wondering and thinking if what I did was right. Argh. I am confused. I hate myself for always doing something and regretting over it. Not exactly regretting, but maybe it is something I shouldn’t at all be doing.


At times, I really can’t help to smile endlessly. It’s amazing to feel happy, relieved and satisfied. It makes my heart feels great! Who doesn’t want life to be a bed of roses? but it is life that we all go through. It is the process that makes us stronger. not the end results of whether being happy or sad that makes us stronger.

Yesterday and the day before was absolutely superliciously amazingly fantastic. I know I have spent a lot, but nothing of it compares to the among of satisfaction in my heart. I love what I did, what I said, what I enjoyed, where I hang out and who I hung out with.

Okay. I admit I am a bad planner. I go to places or go hang out without exactly planning for a destination or a purpose. But on both occasions, things went fine. More than fine. Better than I thought it would be. Forgive me for being so empty minded and not planning everything.

I felt happy because I am able to make someone else happy. Opps, wait. I don’t know whether they are really happy. Shit! But well, if they do tell me they were happy, I would even be even more happier. I know my post today is full of grammatical mistakes.

I am getting bored working in Starbucks. I mean honestly. Grrr. Nothing new that I learn from there but yet I am perserving for the sake of the better-than-no-job situation. Again, who wants me for 1 month? I bet none. I am kinda sick of the people there. Very honestly.

Tuition classes are coming up once again. I know additional income but which means I gotta read up stuffs.

And I have watched Fast and Furious 4 yesterday. To say that it was really really good, it isn’t. But I think it is averagely good la. Nothing so super fantastic about it although I thought the trailer was really good.

I am really counting the days to go for a break. To come back fresh and excited is what I plan to do. I know how much I will miss the people here. But.. I know 3 weeks will fly fast enough and I know I am gonna be responsible to call back – to the people I love.

Nose sinus are such a pain the ass. I have been trying all kinds of ridiculous and crazily unique methods. To cure it ain’t gonna be easy. The remedies are not very very good, as to date. I have been now using sinoclear, and sometimes, breathe right sticker. The breathe right sticker really helps but it is hell expensive. I don’t know how it works. Sticking a piece of sticker there can help me really breathe properly. It’s too ugly to wear it out =(. But breathing problems is something you pray you will never have. But I suppose its from birth. And I can’t stand heat!!!! So it makes things worst.

I am trying to identify the components of my new desktop since it is gonna be custom made. According to dad. But I am torn between so many. I want reasonable yet good, fast and high speed. I don’t want to regret. Things like memory, operating system, storage, drives is like making my head go round and round. I need something cheap la, in short.

I have just got about 20 copies of the new FIFA ONLINE Game. I got it from somewhere. Apparently, it is legal. If you wan’t, leave me a message or hit me. I’ll pass it to you. Or else I’ll probably just distribute it among my youths lor.

I am being a sloth recently. And I tell you: IT IS BAD!

Results of the elections are out. The Batang Ai, Bukit Selambau and Bukit Gantang. The results are quite suprising to me. Although I have no idea who will win this time because of the unexpected decisions from our new Prime Minister. But it is funny how our political situation has became from good to bad and bad to worst. I treat it as a drama lately. It’s interesting enough to keep me updated and to keep me able to have conversation with others.
I am following on for the results and all. We’ll see.

Random? Yeah, tell me about it. =)


I am feeling better. Thanks people. Disappointments comes and goes away. It is and will be there. Just for the time being. I am sure I can brave through things. Life is much more than that. I thank you for those who have bothered to be concern and not further get me pissed but to understand what I am going through. I thank God for great friends.

I feel blessed out of a sudden. I am perhaps, blessed. And I am counting my blessings. It’s been some times I write about ‘BLESSINGS’. I am a truly blessed teenager. Not just an ordinary one. I am thankful because:

  • I am flying to Aussie in about approximately 20 days more. I am crazily excited. I want to get away from this place. Take a cool break. Leaving things back here. Things I hate and dislike. Going there to help brush things off and to clear my mind when I return. But I will miss people from here!!! You know who you are, ask me if you dont! =)
  • I am promised a new desktop computer. My dad was like so random the other day. He asks ‘Is your monitor (the cacat one now) really cannot be use ar?’. I answered super NOT honestly, I said.. It causes me headache. And the side panel lightings is blinking. So the transistors might also KO very soon. Which is really true – headache and the transistors. And I also told him that I need a proper good graphic card to do, view and work on my assignments when i do media. There and then, he told me. Okay, get a laptop or a desktop.. I was like.. Not giving a response because I wasnt in the mood and I was kinda shocked =P
  • And all of a sudden, my dad came home with 2 new things for me. A new t-shirt and a new pair of shoes. I have been trying hard not to buy myself new clothings and new shoes because I wanna save on it. I don’t get myself any shoes above RM 150 for myself. No way. I stop him from buying everytime I see it. But well, this time.. He was smart to buy without my knowing and come back and just give me – without a price tag.

I cant help but to stop counting my own blessings at this time. Someone has always told me, I am lucky but I think that blessed should be the word. Not exactly lucky.

I am awaiting a new desktop after Australia. I am awaiting for Hong Kong end of the year. I am knowing that God will provide. =) In short, Australia > Desktop > Hong Kong. Adding ADORE in between Desktop and Hong Kong, I trust and believe I have a great God on top of me. =) He never leaves me and I never wanna leave Him too. Wanna know about this God?

And someone finally agrees I am a good guy after so much of fighting and she didn’t think I will there to post this up here. Nice rite? :) If you know who this is, great. If not, just need to know that I am a goodie boy lar.. =) Please agreee!!~Being random again, I feel like eating the below stuffs. Anyone wants to cook for me and get for me? I need to eat lots of pasta before I go for holidays. And the vermicilli is lying in my house doing nothing. Make me love vermicili, please? Or else I won’t get to buy more spghetti if I dont finish the vermicili. =(.And I am working tomorrow… Not that looking forward, but I am glad I have something to do. =) I need the cash. I want to buy stuffs!

when everything goes strangely dim =(

I know, everyone says: Put a smile on your face!
But I want you all to know I am trying. Why all of you can tell me that and the people involve wouldnt even give a big damn about how I feel?

I’ve never been as pissed off as this time with this person. It really hits me hard – 2 days in a row. I am pissed off, not sulking. Get me right – PISSED OFF.

Nothing can make me this upset. Really.

This morning, the managers and all asked me, ‘Your friend working here when ar?’. I kept silent. Or perhaps, just stare and say ‘Not yet’. I am cheating myself. But what can I do?
I am soon gonna bear this embarrassment. All my blardy fault. I am prepared for this since yesterday but when it hit me hard today, NO – I am not prepared.
Call me egoistic. I am.

I hate it when people fails to prioritise their own stuffs. I mean, come on. If you are my age and older, you should have the little discernment. I know you care for others, how about me? Have you ever cared for what I’d feel and what I’d think? No, never.

Am I that easy to be stepped on and taking for granted?

Sometimes I think I am.

I told myself not to be pissed, but I can’t everytime I think about what had happened and the person involve is not even bothered to apologise and to do something. I am utterly disappointed, upset and pissed off. But if you did apologise and try to talk it out nicely with me – Maybe I will be able to feel better.
But this is not whats happening.
Instead, you make me feel even worst.

I feel stupid. I feel cheated. I feel bad.

Why can’t people think of my feelings for once? Everyone does the same.
And who would care for me when i SPRAINED MY LEG AND HAND working? Who?

I give give and give, with no returns. One day I am gonna run out of my own giving because I don’t receive in any relationships. And yet I get myself to suffer over my own giving because I did it out of love. But people never choose to bother.

I am feeling like hell now. Perhaps, in deep pain.
Sucking it all on myself hurts me emotionally.
My mind is thinking about it the whole time – even when I was busy working.

I feel bad. I am not a good staff when I am in such emotional state working in Starbucks. I get so emotionally-absorbed that I can’t even be bothered to greet the customers. And day dreaming, my worst thing. Standing at the counter and stare at the glass panels when customers was calling me. I am gonna get fired soon.
I won’t but if I was an ordinary staff, I might.

I think and think to find mistakes of my own. Thinking whether I was right to be pissed off.
I can’t find anything wrong with me being upset. It’s not being upset, I AM UPSET!

Why must these shit comes in during this important weekend?

I don’t know how long this is gonna take to heal. But I am certain if the person does not do anything or to at least try talk me out, it is gonna hurt me.

2 issues, 2 days – in a row – it’s all messed up.

Call me emo, I am now.
Like I said, I AM NOT SULKING!

I am a useless brother. ='(

Working life has been all fun if I didn’t need the cash. I want the cash to buy stuffs – for myself and for some people. At times, I wonder am i really that selfish after all? I would have resign if I didn’t need the cash. But I think I need. My wallet is now elft with RM3 bucks after last weekend and I am still willing to forgo lunch and all just for that. But I guess my salary should be out soon.

I can’t wait to fly yet I have people in mind that I know I will constantly miss.
God is fair. He never gives both the good together.
It’s either bitter, but healthy or sweet but unhealthy. He is like this!

Dear God, I pray that everythings gonna be fine. I pray that You will help me go through this in a matured way. Help me and this person not to brush things off but to find a solution. Help me be more understanding. Help me to know what is right and what is not. I can’t get my minds off this things and I pray that You will help me. I am desperate to heal things. I want a great weekend. I am trying to look at things as positively as I could and not just sit here and do nothing altho the person is not doing anything. I care. I bother. ='(

PS: If this site is not updated for the next few days, do stay tune. I need a short break. Meanwhile, click ads or feed my pets – anything you all wish.