Monthly Archives: October 2007

When u dun understand..

I know my strength is limited.
I am just an ordinary human.
Nothing special in other’s eyes but someone extraordinary in the LORD’s eyes.
I have been going through a lot. With exams coming up, clearing of clubs and society’s stuffs in the school, prefectorial reports, studies. I know I have limited strenth but I am glad that till this very day, I managed to survived with the LORD’s strength. I somehow feel tired and stress out over so many things at this point of time. But everytime I see the seed I have sow, the things I have done with the LORD’s strength, I get the joy.
At some point of time, I get disappointed. I get mad. I get ridiculous but there are just 2 songs that have been playing in my head for the past few weeks that have spurred me on to do my best and to give my all. And to be more scarificial. Everytime I hear the melody and lyrics of the song ‘TRUST HIS HEART’ and ‘GOD WILL MAKE A WAY’, it reminds me that it is not what I do that matters, it is what He has done in me and He is going to do that matters.
At times, I really hate my books, but relying on Him is a great challenge. I know I am weak. I don’t even dare to imagine what my results will be like but I know God has something great installed for me. Something bigger than I can comprehend. I know I gotta lean on Him, no one else can help me at this point of time- not even myself.
TRUST HIS HEART by Babbie Mason
All things work for our good
though sometimes we can’t see how they could
at times of difficulties, I really do fail to see the good things
struggles that break our hearts in two
sometimes blinds us to the truth
hurt and pain that has break my heart shows me what things really are and who some people really is

Our Father knows what’s best for us

His ways are not our own
He knows what is best for me and sometimes, my ways are just not His ways
So when your pathway grows dim, and you just can’t see Him
Remember you’re never alone
SPM is drawing near. Pathway is so dim at times and I just can’t see Him but I know I am never alone
God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don’t understand
When you don’t see His plan
When you can’t trace His hand
Trust His Heart
I sometimes fail to see His plans for me. I can’t trace His hand but all need to do is just to trust His heart
He sees the master plan
And He holds our future in His hands
He sees everything but I only see the current and I know my everything and my future is in His hands. With this assurance, I really don’t see a need to worry about what is going to happen next
So don’t live as those who have no hope
All our hope is found in Him
I lose hope sometimes, but I know I shouldnt because all my hope is found in only Him and not human
We see the present clearly
But He sees the first and the last
He sees the first and the last but I am someone who sees the present clearly
And like a tapestry He’s weaving you and me to someday be just like Him
I really want to be like Him
He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you
He is a faithful God and He has never failed me. He has been giving me the best of life
So when you don’t understand
When you don’t see His plan
When you can’t trace His hand trust His heart
I just need to learn to trust His heart when I can’t trace His hands for He sees the plan when I don’t
Hebrews 11:1- Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see


I wished I knew how to control my own feelings. I knew and admit I was wrong to dislike her for my own selfish sake but I just couldn’t control. I finally managed to put the hurt aside and forgive her. I knew in the beginning, things were going to be tough. But I managed to go through it- with a lil pain though. I knew I would be hated, right from the start. For what I did wasn’t right.

At times, I wished I had the self control over the things that I do and I feel. Feelings comes naturally and I sometimes fail to see and do what is right. I wished that feelings were something that I can control easily and not something that controls me easily. For I know when it controls me, it affects the people around me too.

All in all, I was not right to dislike people I know. Not even to discriminate people. I am learning from all the things that has happened lately. I know sometimes it will cause pain to me but I have to learn or else I know things will not be good.

Sometimes, I really hope to know what I am doing. I don’t want to be ‘grey’. But on the other hand, can someone just put him/herself in my shoes and see things the way I see sometimes. I really hope there is such a ‘someone’ who understand and care for me as much as I care for him/her maybe?


On the other hand, SPM is pretty near. I know. I am trying too no matter how emotional things can get. I have never studied so many hours in a day. Really. Well, there are so many things yet to be covered and I know I am in hot soup.


I don’t know what I was typing. If it makes no sense, forget about it =S


In a bad mood. Not in the mood to blog. Will be back as soon as possible. Sorry.
And I am just plain unlucky lately… SIGH =(