This is random. But I am updating for the sake of updating it? Since some people do enjoy reading random posts of my thoughts?

I chose the theme of revival because I am preparing for it. Are you ready for rain? Are you still sitting at your comfort zone at home not doing anything for His name? Can you afford to see your loved ones not being in church with you? Or perhaps not worshipping the same God as you do? I do ask God when is revival gonna come? When is He gonna fill His house with His people? Just spend a thought and ask youself. Are you ready for rain? For those who are not Christians, do you want to miss out in this rain? The God I worship is awesome. He is just indescribable. I am preparing for it. Are you?

Contradictory issues again?

Quality not Quantity.
I’ve been thinking of stuffs to blog lately. And just read this ‘QUALITY BUT NOT QUANTITY’. We always say that we want quality and not quantity. Be it in college, in school or no mattter where. But are you saying it for the sake of it? I had a thought through though. What I think is this, just ask yourself this: ‘If you do not have quantity, how to have quality?’. You may just think that 1 person can do all the job because quality is important, but if the person doesnt know how to do and you do not have sufficient manpower? What happens? It falls back to quantity isn’t it? My mum was telling me, if you do not have enough people, you cannot equally get the quality. It’s like a chicken and egg issue here. But you see; my point is not that quantity is more important. My point here is that both is qually important. Neither one is more important than the other. You get me point here don’t you? Are you thinking what I am thinking? QUANTITY. QUALITY. The next time you want to say,’Quality and not quantity’, do think twice?

To blend or not to blend?
I know many people have been asking me this question. How do you mix along with the crowd without being in the crowd? Okay. I know this is confusing. I know it is hard to be excluded in the crowd. To be pushed aside and to be exiled. It hurts at times because I used to be ignored too when I was in my younger days. Even till today, I don’t curse and swear eventhough I am in a crowd that does that. How to blend? Do I give in? The answer is NO. Holding on to principles are very important. I’ve been taught not to curse or swear and till today. I don’t. I remembered when I was young i was saying those bad words for nothing because I didn’t knew it was bad. In my primary school, everyone said it like a lingo or something. So I was saying till one day, I just realise it was some sorta bad word. I stopped it immediately. And now who says religious education is not important? But really, you can blend without being influenced or if you are exiled, then probably find another gang. Find some other people. Being alone in the crowd is tough, but nothing is impossible. It is how much you hold on to your own principles in life. It doesnt mean they jump, you jump because you are their friends..

MALAYSIA; my beloved

Who doesn’t know Malaysia is now like a disastrous contry? It saddens me that my own country is having so much issues. Everyone is suffering. Can the authorities wake up and do something? Are we paying taxes for just your salary? Everyone from the office workers, admin workers, college students and young ones are all suffering? Can’t you make life any better for us? Can the authorities wakes up from their beauty sleep? Snatch thieves and robberies are getting more and more terribe as days go by. Here I hear people getting robbed, there I hear people getting rape. Is the government doing anything good to help us now? I suppose apart from the fact that I will still be in this country; nothing I can do but to pray for revival?

I really want to blog about snatch thieves and robberies and have an interesting story from my uncle. But the next post I suppose.

As I plug on my headphones to the radio of my handphone lately makes me realise so much. I mean not the song ‘Realise’ but I just realise that music has becomes so much of an impact to people. Many claims that music brings out the life in them. Is it really true? You see more than 50% of people who takes public transport listen and put on their headphones. They can’t be listening to other stuffs apart from songs or radios like I do right?

I’ve come to realise that the songs we listen and hum along is very important. It affects the person inside out I’d say. If you listen clearly to each songs, some songs words are just terrible. The atrocious lyrics can really pull down your day. And worst still, some songs are just not meant to be heard. Songs like ‘Suidicdal’? Promoting death? Isn’t it weird people enjoy listening to it? Worst still, singing along with it? My sister suddenly sang that song that day. My mum and I was wondering.. When on earth did she got that in? It affects a 9 year old kid. How much more does it affect the older people? You tell me..

I enjoy listening to oldies, blues, ballads and R&B lately because of it’s soothing melody and words. I mean for real. I have just 3 channels on my radio. I have been putting headphones on in college, to and from college and so on. But 3 channels; I don’t stick to 1. Somehow, I change channels when I don’t like those particular songs. And to be frank, I hate advertisements. So when advertisments comes alone the way, I’d just brush it off and goes on to another channel.

How much does songs impact us? Just put a thought into your mind. I was just thinking through. It clearly affects me a lot. Let’s take example of the song by Mariah Carey- Touch My Body. As you listen to the word, does this phrase ‘Am I gonna let anyone and everyone touch my body?’ goes into mind? Just ask yourself. No right? I mean i am not educating on what songs you should and you should not listen too. But it is something that people should all ponder about.

I have this habit of harmonising songs lately. Be it circular or gospel songs but I’ve learnt to choose the songs I listen too, the genre, the words, the artiste. I think it is vital for everyone to do the same way as this helps lead to a healthier lifestyle. Like it or not, music, songs affects each and everyone of us. For music junkies, you know what I mean.

Worst still, certain songs affects your emotions and soul. Why bother listening to it over and over again. It drowns into you. I’d rather you listen to decent things that would give you a great day ahead. No all songs are harmful but there are. Songs like Realize are quite fine but trust me, many on the radios are quite harmful to the soul.

On the lighter note, thank you faitful readers for coming and promoting my blog. I’d try to keep blogging a habit and apart of my life. Thank you college people for telling me that you like to read my blog. But unfortunately, I can’t always successfully find something to bite and comment on it. I am not pro bloggers like Kenny Sia and all. I am just being me, myself and I- the alvin! So, if you think that you have a topic I can bite on easily, do drop me a note. I’d see if I can put it into a blogging post. You guys make me day! =)

After much sleepless nights and worries, I handed in OSE Exercises and Maths Assignments all in today. Now, I am only left with Speaking Test, Maths Test, and OSE Assignment and Presentation.

2 weeks time will be the evil finals which I can’t wait to get over with. I know the first few weeks of Semester 2 is quite relaxing. So I want to get away with studies. I jsut dislike studying. Seriously.

I used to think that no one reads my blog. However, the traffic says that in the past 4days, there were 317 readers that came into my blog. It’s such amazing that people do care to come and read about me and my boring, dull life. Maybe what you read inspires you; or it either piss you off all the time. I don’t know but I hope you know the purpose of reading my blog. It motivates me to blog even more.

Tomorrow will be my English Language Writing Test. Amazing isn’t it? Thats why I am practising some writing skills here first. Because I know that I’ve not written a proper essay with proper gramatical and sentence structure. The last was during SPM i suppose? Count the number of months since then? So, I am worried I’d say. Many in class will say Alvin will do well in this subject. However, the more you people say that, the more inferior and demotivated I get. I get even more worried when you people say such things. Okay, I know, am trying to live up on their standards again. But really, it gets me go easy the more you people says such things to me. I’d rather you guys say that I am terrible in English, I suck at it and lots more. I know I am weird, absurd, bizarre and perhaps silly. See, practising voabulary too.

Exams will officially start next next next Friday. And exams will officially end a day before my birthday. I was praying that my exam doesnt falls on my birthday. And true enough, it is on a Saturday and Friday is my last day of examinations. FUN- is the word on my mind! My parents won’t be around. i’ve some sort expected it. They will not be around for my birthday usually as the BWA Meetings always falls on the week of my birthday. I can probably get some freedom I hope?

I am expecting nothing much from my birthday. Honestly, I don’t want to expect anything neither do I want to make any plans for it. If it comes, it comes. If it doesn’t, let me sleep with the rain all night long. I don’t mind. Yesterday’s sleep was so comforting and peaceful. I know many were up watching EURO Finals but I was deeply asleep and I didn’t want to wake up this morning for college. I perhaps wanted to skip class. But I made the choice to attend it since it was just an English tutorial.

Many have asked and are still asking why I hate JUNE so much. For those who do not know, I HATE JUNE. Apart from the camp, nothing in JUNE does much good to me except torture. It’s all the bad memories in JUNE i suppose that makes me hate it so much. I hate the first few days of June because that was the day all nightmare began. I hate middle of June because I usually have some issues and problems. And for this year, I hate June because of ignorance. Well, there is always something I don’t like about June, seriously. And finally today is the last day of it. Thanks for reminding me in college people!

I am looking forward to see what JULY has installed for me. Every year, JULY seems to be the happiest month I can ever get apart from Christmas. It is NOT because of my birthday; neither is it because of *that* event. But more of just JULY has more things that’d make me happy. JULY has many birthdays and hence many celebrations. JULY because it is after half of the year. JULY because of that specific *event of course* and so on and so forth. I hope things will be better for me?

However, JULY is also my finals month which I will be busy. But I seem carefree now even though exams is less than a month. If I go on like this, I suppose I end up commiting academic suicide in my first semester. Really. So I better get myself up and study hard.

Assignments and Tests are piling up. Maths assignment due this Wednesday which I have not even touched. Writing Test tomorrow. Speaking Drama Test next week. OSE Group Assignment next week. Maths Test next week. So many things are installed for me and I hope I get to concentrate. I have been wanting to sleep a lot lately. I sleep early too; yet not enough rest.

TO: That Person,
I probably may not be the best ‘bro’ you were talking about. I was probably just a toy. I was probably someone stupid in your eyes. Someone who was willing to keep sacrificing endlessly even to this point of time when I know my position in your life isn’t even certain.

Can you please wake up? I am so tired of all these. My smile is never the same. My words are never the same.

I know I have changed over the past few months. Drastic changes you see. I get pissed and annoyed easily. I get mad easily. My smile is never the same. My life isn’t that complete. I really want to be myself again. The fun, loud and jovial guy. I keep on trying but it isn’t really working.

But I do admit certain people have really be of great encouragement. Maybe the 4 of them? HIM, HIM, HER, HER. The above is the ONE more. =(

After today,
JUNE 08- A history; JULY 08- A mystery.

Had a very long day yesteday.
Early in the morning, I went for Morning Watch and thereafter I left for Starbucks Heaquarters with Dol, Justine, TC, Edmund for interview. We had todo a group assignment which is due in like 10 days. I procrastinated for about a month before doing the assignment. I just didnt want to call my uncle for the interview. Insisted on waiting till the very last minute.
The organisation interview was quite fine. Simple and much I’ve gained from it about an organisation like Starbucks.
Had rehearsal at night for ROCK SUNDAY this coming Sunday. By the time I reached home, I am like almost dead.
Rushing for my group assignment now and have yet to touch my maths assignment too.

I am yawning away right now.

I can’t find any specific title or theme to blog about right now. So, I shall just keep things to myself. I am not in the mood but I don’t want to write emo posts here either. Hahaha.

Blogging with this new stupid laptop maybe fun by the wireless that keeps dying is NO fun! Grrr

Don’t ask me why. Don’t ask me how. Don’t ask me directly or indirectly.
SC was just saying that I was posting all good things in my blog lately and she was glad for me. Well, it’s now. I don’t post emo stuffs doesnt mean that I am okay. Sometimes, I find the more I keep things to myself, the more I get hurt. Read below and trust me it’s gonna be random. If you don’t understand. Please just ignore. Probably it makes no sense to you. But I really need to open this bottle of mine.

Things has been bad- between us. As I was driving my dad’s Serena just now to Bukit Jalil and then to Mid Valley, I can’t help but tears just rolled down my cheeks. Coming to think of my foolishness and my stupidity for all the sacrifices I’ve done for you. I find myself just in that ‘foolish mode’. I don’t know whether it was my mistakes or was it the other parties. All I can say now is I am feeling the hurt and pain. Telling myself that white lies like things will be fine just doesn’t work. See my eyes, lack of sleep and much of thinking is enough to kill me. Thinking about what you said last Friday at 1.29pm: ‘Forgive Me’. The 2 words hit me badly. I thought that by respoding everything will be fine. But it seems that since then, I’ve not received any news. Was it the ends for everything? I wished I had an answer. Things has been so rough on me lately. Keeping everything to myself sometimes I just find it hard to breathe. I think speaking it out would probably help a little.

Enough of emo posts.

I know. Kill me for saying this: People who watch too much movies and serials will have a hard time getting a life partner. They often fantasize about the guy/girl in the movie or drama and they just enjoy comparing normal civilians like us to them. I mean when will the standard ever be reached. It’s jsut so freaking annoying at times when people say, ‘Oh, he’s hot.. you’re not’, ‘He’s better’ etc etc. Oh please, they are stars, they may appear sweet, nice, hot and innocent in front of the tv but who knows what happens behind the scene. I am not saying that people are comparing me. But their mindset is just so fixed. Get real! Stop dreaming that he’d be your husband and so on and so forth. If you keep comparing, you will never get attached. It’s somewhat annoying. You may think I am jealous but heck NO!

This boils down to one word- MINDSET! Many knows I hate the people with Chinese school mindset. I don’t hate Chinese school but I hate those who adapts Chinese school mindset and mentality. Example; selfishness? Can really annoy you.

I am busy. I will catch on with this as soon as possible!