dark; it is

Life has been miserable. I’ve had a tough week. A rough week. A terrible one.
I was tearing myself apart last night. Tears was and were overflowing. Just the moment I thought things were fine. Apparently not! I went through hell. I went through torture. I mean emotional torture. I wonder why I get wounded so easily. Physically, I look fine. I look great but it isn’t that great after all.

My emotional torture is killing me. I have been trying to justify what has been happening. Even to the extent of cheating my own to keep me from being so emotional. But it seems that it doesnt work. Justification just brings more expectations. The more I justify to things, the more I am creating expectations. And I’ve learnt not to create any expectations at all.

I’ve just taken a step to just write an email. A very long email to this person who has been making me this way. It isn’t this person’s fault of making me this way. It is just probably how much I miss this person. And I can’t comprehend things when this person is gone.

Why is everyone leaving me one by one? It’s hurting me deep within. I can’t accept the fact that it’s your turn to leave me. Just after less than 2 months, someone left me. Why am I seeing you leave and crying all over it when I can’t do much. I don’t know. Things are getting so tough along the way. Justifying it, I told myself God will never allow something that I can’t bear. But it seems so unbearable on my side.

I am reluctant to see you leave although it’s for your own good. I know I can’t be that selfish but with you leaving, things will change even more. I am having flunctuating emotions lately. Don’t dare or challenge me. Neither even try to get my anger. I didn’t feel like blogging but I promised MAX that I’d do his tag. I care for him enough to keep my promise. So, I just took the opportunity to write something short to keep my readers anticipating.

I am still waiting for the Pastas picture to blog about it…