L.O.V.E

I come to find and see LOVE as such a subjective thing. Something so abstract that one will never understand what it is all about. You can try asking around about what LOVE is, and people will tell you, ‘I don’t know’, ‘Love ar? Love loh’. This would be the usual response people around gives you.

As I was browsing through 3,000 messages of mine in my handphone, I felt so delighted and yet, so solemn. The messages that is still in my phone are mostly selected messages. Mostly is from her(x) and him(bro). The joy and laughter through the sms-es; the fights and arguments through the sms-es. Sometimes I find it so subjective as to what real and true love is all about. We still fight although we love, we still argue although we love. It doesn’t brings much definition to love isn’t it?

Browsing through the many folders in my handphone which basically includes, ‘FWD’, ‘SAR’, ‘APIIT Crazy Classmates’, ‘Birthday Greetings’, ‘Personal’, ‘ROCK’, ‘SPM’, ‘SC’ and so on brought back a lot of memories. I don’t keep sms-es. All the 3,000 over messages are kept throughout the many years. All of it meant somethings to me. And the words uttered are undescribable.

Nevertheless, I’ve not been getting any much lovey dovey messages anymore. Apparently, I don’t use my phone to chat. Or perhaps, the people I used to chat and talked with have found some new love somewhere. I don’t get the words of affirmation I used to get. I don’t get the reports that I used to get. I don’t get the, ‘Hows your day?’ that I used to get and so on and so forth. I am trying not to make believe that I will get it one day and that things will be how it used to be. But I am trying to just move on with life. It sounded easy but I can tell you it is tough.

I don’t know whether the people I love still love me. But one thing I know the God I love still loves me. The ignorant I get, I am getting used to it although it is painful. But what can I do but to stay strong? Giving up may seem a solution but giving up may cause scars that would last forever.

All in all, life goes on.
What is love? I am still trying to re-experience the love I once felt few years ago.