frustrations

Just that very moment, you thought everything was back to normal. Back to it’s origin. Back to where it once started; everything turned out to be more disastrous than before. Can you imagine that? I was at a point of giving a real smile and yet everything went crazy in just a glimpse of one night. One short and dreadful night.

I thought things were fine. Things were ammended. Things were all great. But just because of that small, silly and tiny mistake I’ve made. Everything went wrong. Just because of my selfishness to sleep without caring about others. Just because of my anger and mood that night I went to sleep. Yet I didn’t bothered that someone was really keen on knowing certain things were only I knew.

I don’t know why I’ve turned into a selfish idiot lately. Everything I do, I just think of myself. Especially when it comes to sleeping; my excuse will always be college time and all. But I’ve never thought about others whom I have to spend time with or things I’ve to handle. I often compromise. I often justify.

I know I am physically fighting my mental. I don’t know but often I give in to physical; sleep. Penning this down after 2 days that happened. I realise I’ve done a big mistake. A big mistake to just sleep and off my phone that night. Maybe such things wouldn’t have happened. Maybe I could sleep an hour later being relived rather than waking up seeing that message of hurt and pain.

I was being inconsiderate I know. I wished that moment never happened. Never. But I know it has happened. And I am so disappointed with myself, my acts, and my foolishness.

I didn’t mean to do any payback of what you did to me; neither was I trying to make you feel the way I felt but I was just tired. I compromised. My fault. =(

Now when your apologies ain’t accepted; you get pure ignorance; you get cold replies. How does that feel? I am feeling just exactly the way it is. And it is such frustrations. I wished I’ve never done such a thing. And I wish I could be selfless. I just need to maybe take some time to understand you and myself better. My heart is filled with guilt and frustrations.

I am sorry.