Questionable Motives

In college; in the midst of a 3 hour break;

Everyone has choices; like it or not. Fair or not. True or not. Everyone has choices; everyone has to have an answer for their choices. With questions comes answers. Answers are often tough to give; tough to make. I am talking about life.

I am in the point of asking myself so many questions and doubting over so many things. Some things goes unnecessary; but yet I am spending so much time dwelling myself in unanswered questions. Everything now is so questionable; it’s motives, it’s purpose; it’s reason. Now I know why people always say, ‘Don’t think too much’, ‘Don’t bother!’, ‘Don’t ask’. I’ve realise that it’s just words to calm one down.

I am asking and doubting on so many things. Questions includes, ‘Was I selfish?’, ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have slept that night?’, ‘Maybe I’ve not done enough?’, ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have did that?’, ‘Was I in the position to even talk?’ and so on and so forth. The questions playing in my head over and over again lft unanswered. The things I’ve done, I still questions it’s motives.

Why am I in such a position? A position that my brains just can’t stop thinking. Dwelling in the thins which maybe I can’t even change or maybe not in the position to change. Why oh Why? Another question, yet again… I wished that I was thought-free. Thought-free in the sense that I can just take a great break of all these unnecessary stuffs.

Somethings appeares to be simple but yet it ended up so complicated. Things that appears so simple often complicates and things that appears so tough and complicated often makes it so simple. This is life. Life is unfair, unjust with unnecessary thoughts. Sometimes I choose not to think but I always fail at the end. Every moment on bed, especially becomes a torture and nightmare because of my wild thoughts.

I wonder how can I get rid of unnecessary thoughts. I’ve tried various ways. Or am I too worried and concern? Maybe I am just a thought provoking person?

Another question left unanswered…