Blessed.
I am feeling better. Thanks people. Disappointments comes and goes away. It is and will be there. Just for the time being. I am sure I can brave through things. Life is much more than that. I thank you for those who have bothered to be concern and not further get me pissed but to understand what I am going through. I thank God for great friends.
I feel blessed out of a sudden. I am perhaps, blessed. And I am counting my blessings. It’s been some times I write about ‘BLESSINGS’. I am a truly blessed teenager. Not just an ordinary one. I am thankful because:
- I am flying to Aussie in about approximately 20 days more. I am crazily excited. I want to get away from this place. Take a cool break. Leaving things back here. Things I hate and dislike. Going there to help brush things off and to clear my mind when I return. But I will miss people from here!!! You know who you are, ask me if you dont! =)
- I am promised a new desktop computer. My dad was like so random the other day. He asks ‘Is your monitor (the cacat one now) really cannot be use ar?’. I answered super NOT honestly, I said.. It causes me headache. And the side panel lightings is blinking. So the transistors might also KO very soon. Which is really true – headache and the transistors. And I also told him that I need a proper good graphic card to do, view and work on my assignments when i do media. There and then, he told me. Okay, get a laptop or a desktop.. I was like.. Not giving a response because I wasnt in the mood and I was kinda shocked =P
- And all of a sudden, my dad came home with 2 new things for me. A new t-shirt and a new pair of shoes. I have been trying hard not to buy myself new clothings and new shoes because I wanna save on it. I don’t get myself any shoes above RM 150 for myself. No way. I stop him from buying everytime I see it. But well, this time.. He was smart to buy without my knowing and come back and just give me – without a price tag.
I cant help but to stop counting my own blessings at this time. Someone has always told me, I am lucky but I think that blessed should be the word. Not exactly lucky.
I am awaiting a new desktop after Australia. I am awaiting for Hong Kong end of the year. I am knowing that God will provide. =) In short, Australia > Desktop > Hong Kong. Adding ADORE in between Desktop and Hong Kong, I trust and believe I have a great God on top of me. =) He never leaves me and I never wanna leave Him too. Wanna know about this God?
And someone finally agrees I am a good guy after so much of fighting and she didn’t think I will there to post this up here. Nice rite? 
If you know who this is, great. If not, just need to know that I am a goodie boy lar.. =) Please agreee!!~
Being random again, I feel like eating the below stuffs. Anyone wants to cook for me and get for me? I need to eat lots of pasta before I go for holidays. And the vermicilli is lying in my house doing nothing. Make me love vermicili, please? Or else I won’t get to buy more spghetti if I dont finish the vermicili. =(.
And I am working tomorrow… Not that looking forward, but I am glad I have something to do. =) I need the cash. I want to buy stuffs!
when everything goes strangely dim =(
But I want you all to know I am trying. Why all of you can tell me that and the people involve wouldnt even give a big damn about how I feel?
I’ve never been as pissed off as this time with this person. It really hits me hard – 2 days in a row. I am pissed off, not sulking. Get me right – PISSED OFF.
Nothing can make me this upset. Really.
This morning, the managers and all asked me, ‘Your friend working here when ar?’. I kept silent. Or perhaps, just stare and say ‘Not yet’. I am cheating myself. But what can I do?
I am soon gonna bear this embarrassment. All my blardy fault. I am prepared for this since yesterday but when it hit me hard today, NO – I am not prepared.
Call me egoistic. I am.
I hate it when people fails to prioritise their own stuffs. I mean, come on. If you are my age and older, you should have the little discernment. I know you care for others, how about me? Have you ever cared for what I’d feel and what I’d think? No, never.
Am I that easy to be stepped on and taking for granted?
Sometimes I think I am.
I told myself not to be pissed, but I can’t everytime I think about what had happened and the person involve is not even bothered to apologise and to do something. I am utterly disappointed, upset and pissed off. But if you did apologise and try to talk it out nicely with me – Maybe I will be able to feel better.
But this is not whats happening.
Instead, you make me feel even worst.
I feel stupid. I feel cheated. I feel bad.
Why can’t people think of my feelings for once? Everyone does the same.
And who would care for me when i SPRAINED MY LEG AND HAND working? Who?
I give give and give, with no returns. One day I am gonna run out of my own giving because I don’t receive in any relationships. And yet I get myself to suffer over my own giving because I did it out of love. But people never choose to bother.
I am feeling like hell now. Perhaps, in deep pain.
Sucking it all on myself hurts me emotionally.
My mind is thinking about it the whole time – even when I was busy working.
I feel bad. I am not a good staff when I am in such emotional state working in Starbucks. I get so emotionally-absorbed that I can’t even be bothered to greet the customers. And day dreaming, my worst thing. Standing at the counter and stare at the glass panels when customers was calling me. I am gonna get fired soon.
I won’t but if I was an ordinary staff, I might.
I think and think to find mistakes of my own. Thinking whether I was right to be pissed off.
I can’t find anything wrong with me being upset. It’s not being upset, I AM UPSET!
Why must these shit comes in during this important weekend?
I don’t know how long this is gonna take to heal. But I am certain if the person does not do anything or to at least try talk me out, it is gonna hurt me.
2 issues, 2 days – in a row – it’s all messed up.
Call me emo, I am now.
Like I said, I AM NOT SULKING!
I am just UTTERLY DISAPPOINTED and MAD and PISSED OFF.
I am a useless brother. ='(
Working life has been all fun if I didn’t need the cash. I want the cash to buy stuffs – for myself and for some people. At times, I wonder am i really that selfish after all? I would have resign if I didn’t need the cash. But I think I need. My wallet is now elft with RM3 bucks after last weekend and I am still willing to forgo lunch and all just for that. But I guess my salary should be out soon.
Arrrrrghhhh!
I can’t wait to fly yet I have people in mind that I know I will constantly miss.
God is fair. He never gives both the good together.
It’s either bitter, but healthy or sweet but unhealthy. He is like this!
PS: If this site is not updated for the next few days, do stay tune. I need a short break. Meanwhile, click ads or feed my pets – anything you all wish.
at least something?
Working hasnt be as fun. But well, life is tough these days.
I just read something that quite upset me. But wells, no comments.
I just dont get it when people fails to prioritise. How long more can I take it? I wonder.
It’s because of LOVE i did everything but this LOVE is given to someone else instead.
I get nothing in return. I am utterly disappointed.
Why can’t people learn to prioritise? So tough?
Just use some lil brains. It isn’t that tough.
Annoying when people takes you for granted and never cares for your feelings.
Now I know why I never hear people tell me they love me anymore because deep down inside, they don’t. But in my heart, that are as important as .. I don’t know. Just superly important.
My feelings is running like a roller coaster. Going up and down. Things have been hurting me like crazy. I feel like crying it all out.
Tell me how would you feel if your parents tells you they are gonna buy you a brand new, good desktop / laptop? Overly happy right? But I can’t put that smile on my face. Not at all.
Why? The hurt is covering these happiness. Yes, I feel like sulking now.
I hate the situation I am in.
Can anyone just be by my side to hear me out?
Its annoying me. Its hurting me.
It’s soon, killing me.
ARGH!!
I AM MAD. PISSED and EVERYTHING ELSE IN COMMON.
I AM IN PAIN DEEP WITHIN.
Is there somewhere who understands?
WHY ONE BAD NEWS BY ONE BAD NEWS COMES?
WHY THIS SHIT HAPPENS TO ME?
I AM IN PAIN DEEP WITHIN.
IT HURTS. I AM BEING HONEST.
IT ALMOST KILLED ME EMOTIONALLY.
WELL, IT HAS NOT KILLED ME BUT IT IS KILLING ME.
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP! :'(
But I guess NO ONE can help except for the people involved. ='(
thankyouverymuch
Thank you very much for the patience throughout the period I did not update my blog.
I did it on purpose to maintain the first post as the bag post (which I’ve officially removed it). The person involved only collected from me like a few days later. Grrr.. Slow right. Scold him for my lack of updates.
I am officially done with Foundations Programme in UCTI. I actually think I was foolish. I think about holidays when i was still having exams. I think about working when I am on holidays. I feel bad. My priorities are getting from bad to worst. Anyhows, I went in with zero-knowledge on my Research Paper. Zero-Knowledge.
Expecting case studies and common sense questions, all that came out was mere junk. All slides oriented. Lazk of application questions. It’s just What is research and all its stupidity. I can’t believe I have went through a 13 week of hell with the module – LEARNING NOTHING! Lecturer was boring, uninteresting and just slow. I can’t adapt to his inefficiency at all.
I did not realised I learned nothing until I sat for the exams. And man, it sucks. It’s like you wasted 13 weeks doing junk, crap and mere shitty tutorials. Come on, those of you who knows, agree with me!
On another brighter side, I got back my job from Starbucks. Something that I wanted to do but was hesitating initially because I wanted to get new exposure and new environment. But no one wants to employ a 3-week staff right. It’s too short. I tried applying. I did. But it’s all sad news.
So, I love Starbucks and I am back there. I won’t mind actually. It’s just I am in dire need of some cash currently. To support myself.
I have been random. Maybe because I am so in the holiday mood. Perhaps, don’t blame me. I am on holiday! For those who are currently stress and you need some entertainment and laughters, yeah: COME SEE ME! I won’t mind.
But well, I think I am the one who spends my time most wisely. To my own opinion lah. I am starting work the moment I finished my exams – this coming Monday. And the last day of work day, is the weekend. And I am flying off already. And when I am back, classes ALREADY started. Note: ALREADY! So, don’t you think it is wisely spent?
And yes, I am typing this while being are living in the dark for Earth Hour. Perhaps, I am too. Not exactly. I left one light on, my air cond and my pc. Usually not this way. Definitely. But I need people to know Earth Hour is a mere publicity stunt and it is so over rated. I just opened my windows, my neighbours were all joining too. Nothing much to comment. I support the true vision about it. But more than that, argh.. It is just misused.
I think I need to resettle my biological clock again. I slept at 3am last night and woke up at 630am. My biological clock is getting from bad to worst. I never sleep this last last time. I used to be a goodie boy. *Okay, I used the wrong terms. My ex-classmates will always say I am naughty-naughty* But, I sleep early aite? Despite how naughty I can be.
At my age, who isn’t and wasn’t naughty? Come on. Accept the fact that we all are. Just whether we want to show it or not. And I think I showed it and my classmates accepted and got brainwashed by my terrible, dirty, horny(Opps, kidding) side. Maybe I am the most notorious one in my class gua. I speak out loud. I talk in a way, fluently. So, what can stop me from brainwashing people’s mind?
Don’t bother annoying me to tell you more unless you come visit me in Starbucks for a cuppa coffee. I am amazing. I am doing reverse psychology. People used to say treat me coffee, but I am asking you to come get a coffee. And someone please make sure I don’t drink too much coffee. It’s not good at all. I puked before, drinking Starbucks last time. I mean I drank too much, I suppose.
I am trying so hard to have confidence in myself. I am getting more perasan too lately, i guess. Working too much with the youth ministry. What to do. But it’s fun.
Please comment on my tagbox and the post. It’s dying soooooon.. 
shucks
I smacked myself for that.
Not at this time I think of such things. I don’t even have that 2 minutes to go to the washroom.
And while typing this, I am memorising stuffs actually.
More like regurgitating.
Those thoughts aren’t good for me at this time.
Maybe after exams.
…i can fail you…
Postive!*edited*
Like I have mentioned in my previous posts, I am trying super hard to look at things positively. Perhaps not things, in general but life. We made it complicated thus, we have the responsiblity to look at things positively. It should help simplify things a lil. Perhaps, less arguments, less fights, less pushy.
One side
The other side
The artist’s initial
i know i shouldn’t double post
Disclaimer: If you don’t want to spoil your day and cause a fight around, please skip this post or press the ‘X’ on the top right corner. Thank you
I know I shouldn’t double post. But I am currently super duper very annoyed:
- Sick and tired of someone’s behavior. A stupid few words damaged your thing? Hell NO.
- Sick and tired of waiting for replies and ignorance. Since day 1, I hated it. Hate waiting too.
- Sick of people telling me this and that and they themselves do it another way.
- Hate people who aren’t at all grateful. I feel so friggin’ unappreciated. All the time. And it’s starting to get on my nerves. Don’t in the future come to me when you’re upset when you share the joy with someone else and give me all the pain. I friggin’ feel it. It’s not fair. Not at all. To me. Urgh
- Sick of people who gives lame and stupid and never-go-through the brains excuses. Really
- Also, sick of some annoyance caused by the opposite sex doing the above to me. Apparently, it’s the 4th person and still counting. I am not being a sexist but feel me. But that doesnt mean guys aren’t annoying me as well. Not to such an extent YET. I am not saying the opposite sex is bad or anything. For now, they’re just make me feel like strangling them! Really.
Not upset. Just annoyed. Urgh. Goodnight. For those I’ve ignored on MSN, Sorry. Get back to you soon.
Haha
Wanna know why?
Just look at this… This is ruining my whole image NOW.
This person’s MSN has been spamming me with asking if I wanna view my own naked picture, my own cam pictures, my caught-in-the-act pictures. I just think some sickening thing is happening to this person’s MSN. And it’s really frightening if a kid who uses MSN gets this. Can you imagine?
A naked picture of me? She captured it somewhere? OMG. I am such a ‘good good’ boy. And I am not involve in any politics. Why does this person wanna take my naked picture? 😛
Now I start to feel what the politician went through when she first got the news. Haha.
On another side, I start to think and I am gonna screw next weeks finals! My classmates, say ‘YA!’. I’ve not studied. Not a bit. Perhaps, NOT AT ALL. How I am gonna fare? I got no idea. I gotta stop my mind from saying, it’s gonna be like the last two semesters. Hell no. It is not gonna be. The Computing IT and Perspectives in Technology paper is enough to kick me upside down.
In addition, I’ve been staying home, Facebook-ing, MSN-ing, Sleep-ing, Eat-ing. All the -ings you can think off. Except Study-ing. I’ve been downloading a lot as well. Killing my own computer. At every night, almost: I’ve just been going out for dinner and just going out to hang loose with Voucher. His new name.
And Lee Jun Lin, you planning to get me a new phone? I don’t mind. You’re a great friend, I know!
And someone just reminded me of the foolish thing I’ve done in college just recently. Stucking a smaller sized memory card into a huge hole; where the width of the huge hole is the height of my micro memory card. Cause it to stuck in there. Urgh. The stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life. How often you see alvin this stupid right?
And Alvin is dying to earn some cash through blogging. You know what to do? Ads? Hmm. Opps! I am getting broke.
Remember, my gadgets are all KO-ed?
And I think life is complicated. Because WE made it complicated. Perhaps, if just one person makes it complicated, it’s worst enough. Don’t you agree with me? Everything’s simple. but humans made it complicated. Just take a look:
- Science. Who on earth came up with Bio, Physics and Chemistry?
- Pure Science. Again. Who came up with Applied Science? (Perspectives in Technology, 2009)
- Money. Who came up with corruption?
- Love. Who came up with hate?
Ironic isn’t it? We complain and complain about how our life suck but we never realise we were the one that made it happened. But human nature I suppose, we want to attempt. We want to try. We want to explore. Or else, there’s no life right? Yes, Justifying the point again. I am just good at justifying things.
And a WARNING: Do not play with my feelings. It is like playing with fire. Trust me. Feelings can probably tear someone down so much that he/she might not even get back up. And I’ve been through that and I dont want to go through that. You know how much it hurts. When the fire is lit up, there’s no turning back.
Are there any topics anyone wants me to blog about? Ideas?
Maybe I should be doing food, blogs or movies review soon. But let’s see if I got the time.
Oh. This made me remember. I called back Starbucks Malaysia Human Resource Manager today – to get back my job. I guess I’ll be back in Starbucks in less than a week. And most likely, with someone too. Let’s pray everything goes well. I need the cash. I want the fun times in Starbucks. I want a better outlet too. I am demanding. I know. But I am grateful having an uncle whom I can just use his big name to secure that job. Okay. Don’t judge me. I applied for almost 10jobs for the 3 weeks duration and all replies that came back was – we will get back to you once we have any news or if you are shortlisted. I have a week to go. I don’t even want to stay home the moment I finish exams. I guess it’s recession. Hard to find jobs. So, I am not spoilt alriggghttt? :S
The 10 Random Things
1. I realised everything has its own seasons. Let’s just take Facebook for an example. Lately. There is a quiz passing around and everyone is dying to do it. Some quiz topics like ‘How good you are at bed?’, ‘What age will you get married?’, ‘What type of person are you?’ and so on and so forth. My newsfeed is filled with such comments and their results. Not that I don’t care but urghhh, to me its like… ‘Not again?!?’
Previously, it used to be this picture tagging thingy where people tag each other and go on and on.
This taught me that people changes. Mood changes. Seasons changes. People follows the latest trend of all days just to be in the peer, in the group. Many at times, I think that I am not but indirectly, I actually have just got myself into it. Like the quiz above, I ‘thought’ it was fun, so I tried one because I saw friends doing it but hey, I actually think the quiz is so wordy that I don’t want to read it?
2. I wanted to snap a picture or screenshot of the lecture notes that I have to go through before Monday. Honestly, I have gone through NONE. Not a single piece. It’s lying dormant on my table. Maybe dormant is not the suitable word. but I just feel like using that word. I am reluctant to get my external out to just screenshot some stupid lecture notes here. Finals is next week and I don’t seem to give a much big damn about how well I do. I am worst than a sloth currently.
3. As per Ben’s blog, I visited Sabrina yesterday in Gleneagles. Gosh. She has that energy even after the surgery.But well, she is tough. And mum just told me I am not going for that same surgery. Reason being:
– My mum found out it doesnt give a long term remedy. Just 2 years and the thingy will come back
– Surgery and those fainting-medicine haha. Is no good for me as it causes losing of memory.
So, I wont go as for now.
4. I don’t know what is happening to the gadgets(handphones, desktop and laptop) I am using.
My handphone’s keypad is not functioning very well. It hell sucks when you try to sms. I mean seriously. It’s so hard to even ‘tekan’. And worst still, the few unfunctioning-very-well buttons are the 3DEF, 6MNO and *. Can you imagine?
And my laptop, gosh. It’s freakingly slow. And not only that, my sound driver used to has a *tuuuuuuuuuuuut* sound when playing songs as some background addition =P. But now, the *tuuuuuuuuuuuut* has disappeared and came another problem, lagging problems. The songs or dvd that I play, it goes like.. ‘Oh-Wh-y-do-er-es-it-er-hap-er-pens?’. It’s just annoying. If you didnt get what I was trying to express.
And just 2 weeks ago. My desktop, flat screen monitor KO-ed. And now I am struggling with a super old CRT Monitor which is already killing my eyes. Having some headache since the day I am using this. I am not sure if it is some mental thingy but I know the headache is killing me.
Anyone willing to sponsor any of the above items for me? xD
5. I am waiting to fly. Honestly, I am. I know I will miss the people back here for the 2 1/2 weeks but I just want to have some fun. It’s been few years since I went to Aussie. Nah, people who are important to me reading this: I WILL call back. =P My phone has so damn much credit. RM8XX on Maxis and RM1XX on Digi?
6. I am starting to feel a lil worried. I don’t know whether I have chosen the right course for my Degree. It’s starting to be frightening as time comes. Any ideas on what Media Informatics is all about? Anyone?
7. I am enjoying not going to APIIT. Really.
8. I am trying very hard to look at things and life positively. As hard as I could. Ain’t easy but I am trying.
9. I have added the 2 little creature on my side bar of the blog. Please feed them by clicking on it. The fishes and the hamster. It will grow I hope. Soon enough.
10. I am actually wasting my time blogging this because I am waiting for Ong Ben Leon for dinner. So whoever thinks this post is meaningless, please blame him XD
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