I am back.. once again.. with more.. pictures.. from.. SYDNEY, Australia. =)
You know what? I have come to a point where I feel like telling people off. I am fed-up over the things that has happened over and over again and it never gets resolve.
I am seeing so much pretense among the people I see around. And these pretense is stopping the relationship, friendship and the bonding. I find these people mere hypocrites. I am to the extent of bursting very soon.
And what more, I think some 20years old boys should grow up. Some of them are so freaking childish. Not going somewhere because of people. Because no gang. Utter nonsense. Why are these 20years olds around me gets so immature at times? Can’t you all just grow up?
I am feeling fiery because whatever you do did not concern me… UNTIL… it affects me and my things indirectly.
Some people can never learn to grow up? Behaving like 3years olds and still think it is funny. I can’t believe that. And another thing, playing hide and seek -the ever so famous games. Gosh. People should really learn to NOT play this game in life. It brings you nowhere.
Yes, I am stressed up already. Teacher Mun Yee saw me in Chosen Treasure this afternoon and said, ‘You look really stressed!’. In fact, I am. Pressures all around. Issues unresolved. Bearing embarrassment caused by other parties. Some times I really wonder, Why is this happening?
And I just remembered, ‘If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulder, I know, my brother that He will carry you’. I think He will never fail me. Yes. There is a slight doubt there but I am making myself believe that there is no mountain too big, God cannot move it. It takes lots of courage and faith but yet I am pressing on and moving forward.
It is never easy. Handling people can be the toughest thing on earth to handle. Especially hypocrites, arrogant people, selfish people. But yet, I am pressing on.
Holding on that Godwill never give me something beyond what I can bear, I am trying not to explode and get fed up yet. MSN Messages which annoys me, ‘I’ll just brush off and say I will talk to you later’. It is because I am trying to relieve myself and not get upset.
But yet, nothing can take away the disappointment in me right now. Only He can.
I miss voucher =s
Many at times, we are selfish. Like it or not. We are.
Just that day. Something really annoyed me. There was this guy (race not mentioned) but he was so big size, yet the LRT was sandwich pack. I was right behind me. Him with his odour chooses to lean against me when the front of him was totally empty. Only his front. I was getting so fedup that I keep pushing him to the front. Yet he never realise. And at the back of me, it was like so freaking pack. Gosh. I felt like shouting honestly.
And it brought me to my realisation. We are all selfish in our own ways. I always think and try to think that who is not selfish, who is flawless. But none of us are. Really. We are selfish. We have our own individual flaws. And there is none of us who are perfect. Try finding me one.
And I was telling myself, not to get annoyed. Not to get fed up. But I couldn’t help it but I was.
And yet, in my time of solitude at home much later. I came to realise that we are all selfish. Even me too. And in times of solitudes comes realisation at times.
And in this period of solitude regarding something, it really hits me that it doesnt matter anymore. I have done so much yet things never seem to get better. I don’t know. I am so confused. I can’t let go but often, what more can I do? I pray times of solitude with you, you realise things too.
Everything is coping well. Not exactly great but adaptable. Well, maybe good time to just quiten down myself over things during this period of time where there is no physical help to turn to. I guess I have never been this faithful praying for him who is now away. Praying endlessly that everything is fine. I don’t know anything but I am trusting God.
I was utterly disappointed I did not get the person’s Singapore number and I was also feeling terrible that I did not get a message before the person surrendered the phone when I messaged a few times when he was there and I only got one reply. Sigh. But what can I do? Nothing. :s
But I still care 😉
College is probably gonna kill me soon enough. Argh.
My mind is everywhere. I am feeling too lazy to upload Sydney and Brisbane pictures. Give me time. It takes me loads of energy okay?
All I can do now is to sigh! Sigh Sigh Sigh.
Okay. Enough. I gotta stop feeling this way or I will suffer for at least another 20over days.
But God’s been good. Honestly.
Sydney post will come out really soon okay? When am free-ier. 😉
I am all feeling the wound of my own heart. I am utterly disappointed.
I am clueless of what I am doing. I feel unloved. I feel so disappointed and most of all, I am just to the extent of wounding myself for someone other’s care. Don’t know what crap I am talking.
All I know is, this has not been the farewell I wanna give or join. Perhaps, all was given a chance – friends, family and all. But just NOT me.
I’d rather not have any gifts but to spend time with you.
Taking it all in by myself now. I need solitude or I’ll go mad very soon. No kidding.
Not like anyone bothers anyways.
And yes, I am a coward. Thanks for the timely reminder. Put all the blame on me. I am numb to all the accusations. But what can I do?
Everything sucks big time. I mean it. Silently taking it all. ='(
If there were pills that can make me sleep for a week, I wished I can have that so that I won’t have to bother what the world is. I finished my Steroids and am only left with antibiotics.
I should be fine. Don’t bother asking me what, why, who where and all the stupid questions. My own problems.
The time has come for me to leave Brisbane
Leaving in few hours time to Gold Coast Airport.
I can’t wait to get back to my bed, my friends, my phones, my love(s), and most importantly, my family.
It has been such a great time here. With great solitude. I am thankful and I feel blessed indefinitely. It has been an amazing experience and I have learn so much and waiting to apply back there.
It has been an amazing time meeting up with friends and relatives here. But I miss people in KL more despite all that I am enjoying.
KL is where I want to be right now. At this point, back at KLBC with the people I know. The youths and all. I miss all my youths back there and ROCK too. I love ROCK.
Its been 2 weeks I left home or more. It’s time to return. The time has come. Flying off with Air Asia later. Hopefully some pretty hot people (and I mean hot Australian girls =P) sits next to me for the 8 hours? Haha. And no more aunty uncle. I have been sitting with aunty uncles through Air Asia and Virgin Blue. Ish. No friends to meet but aunties and uncles. Grrr.
Let’s see what happens next. Life’s great here. Life’s greater back there in KL.
See ya people soon! 😉
Greetings from Brisbane, Australia now!
Trying so hard to put myself back into pieces ain’t easy. I have been giving so much thought about it the past few days and it’s probably killing me whole trip and my entire emotions. But what more can I do? Expect myself to apologise? Expect the other party to do something? I don’t know.
Keeping peace with me the past few nights through prayer. Knowing deep within me isn’t fine but I can’t seem to find a solution. I did wish I can sit down and talk or at least talk. But I am so freaking far away. SMSes? Hmm.. 5 more days to home. Some part of me is already waiting to return. I don’t know why. Reaching at KL blardy early at 4am and need to probably wait till 7am to get home is annoying. There are no buses till 530. Hmmm..
I’ve been walking endlessly and some walk made me learn things. Some aimless boring walk kept me thinking even more.
Nonetheless, it’s 5 days more to home. 6 days more to . . . . I thank God my nose is feeling a little better. I don’t know how to describe. Ask me personally and I might tell you.
I really thank God for the SMSes and the MSN Messages you guys have left me. I did not reply any SMS but I did occasionally replied some of the offline messages. I apologise for my ignorance as I am not too in the mood and my online time is quite limited. I am actually typing this at 12am here. Going to 1am.
I am waiting. I am thinking. I am hoping. I’m all out of almost everything already =(.
I thank God for this solitude in Brisbane – without dad and having some time alone. Maybe God knows I really need this. Badly. I always wonder why wrong things must happen at the wrong time. I really do.
Goodnight people! (to those I never bothered SMSing back!)
Trying to upload pictures but it is giving me hell of a time. Argh!