Monthly Archives: March 2009

at least something?

Something to keep my blog updated. I miss my college. Kinda. In a way. The friends.

Working hasnt be as fun. But well, life is tough these days.

I just read something that quite upset me. But wells, no comments.

I just dont get it when people fails to prioritise. How long more can I take it? I wonder.
It’s because of LOVE i did everything but this LOVE is given to someone else instead.
I get nothing in return. I am utterly disappointed.

Why can’t people learn to prioritise? So tough?
Just use some lil brains. It isn’t that tough.

Annoying when people takes you for granted and never cares for your feelings.

Now I know why I never hear people tell me they love me anymore because deep down inside, they don’t. But in my heart, that are as important as .. I don’t know. Just superly important.

My feelings is running like a roller coaster. Going up and down. Things have been hurting me like crazy. I feel like crying it all out.

Tell me how would you feel if your parents tells you they are gonna buy you a brand new, good desktop / laptop? Overly happy right? But I can’t put that smile on my face. Not at all.
Why? The hurt is covering these happiness. Yes, I feel like sulking now.

I hate the situation I am in.
Can anyone just be by my side to hear me out?
Its annoying me. Its hurting me.
It’s soon, killing me.
ARGH!!

I AM IN A FIERY MOOD NOW.

I AM MAD. PISSED and EVERYTHING ELSE IN COMMON.

I AM IN PAIN DEEP WITHIN.

Is there somewhere who understands?

WHY ONE BAD NEWS BY ONE BAD NEWS COMES?

WHY THIS SHIT HAPPENS TO ME?

I AM IN PAIN DEEP WITHIN.

IT HURTS. I AM BEING HONEST.

IT ALMOST KILLED ME EMOTIONALLY.

WELL, IT HAS NOT KILLED ME BUT IT IS KILLING ME.

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP! :'(

But I guess NO ONE can help except for the people involved. ='(

thankyouverymuch

Thank you very much for the patience throughout the period I did not update my blog.

I did it on purpose to maintain the first post as the bag post (which I’ve officially removed it). The person involved only collected from me like a few days later. Grrr.. Slow right. Scold him for my lack of updates.

I am officially done with Foundations Programme in UCTI. I actually think I was foolish. I think about holidays when i was still having exams. I think about working when I am on holidays. I feel bad. My priorities are getting from bad to worst. Anyhows, I went in with zero-knowledge on my Research Paper. Zero-Knowledge.

Expecting case studies and common sense questions, all that came out was mere junk. All slides oriented. Lazk of application questions. It’s just What is research and all its stupidity. I can’t believe I have went through a 13 week of hell with the module – LEARNING NOTHING! Lecturer was boring, uninteresting and just slow. I can’t adapt to his inefficiency at all.

I did not realised I learned nothing until I sat for the exams. And man, it sucks. It’s like you wasted 13 weeks doing junk, crap and mere shitty tutorials. Come on, those of you who knows, agree with me!

On another brighter side, I got back my job from Starbucks. Something that I wanted to do but was hesitating initially because I wanted to get new exposure and new environment. But no one wants to employ a 3-week staff right. It’s too short. I tried applying. I did. But it’s all sad news.

So, I love Starbucks and I am back there. I won’t mind actually. It’s just I am in dire need of some cash currently. To support myself.

I have been random. Maybe because I am so in the holiday mood. Perhaps, don’t blame me. I am on holiday! For those who are currently stress and you need some entertainment and laughters, yeah: COME SEE ME! I won’t mind.

But well, I think I am the one who spends my time most wisely. To my own opinion lah. I am starting work the moment I finished my exams – this coming Monday. And the last day of work day, is the weekend. And I am flying off already. And when I am back, classes ALREADY started. Note: ALREADY! So, don’t you think it is wisely spent?

And yes, I am typing this while being are living in the dark for Earth Hour. Perhaps, I am too. Not exactly. I left one light on, my air cond and my pc. Usually not this way. Definitely. But I need people to know Earth Hour is a mere publicity stunt and it is so over rated. I just opened my windows, my neighbours were all joining too. Nothing much to comment. I support the true vision about it. But more than that, argh.. It is just misused.

I think I need to resettle my biological clock again. I slept at 3am last night and woke up at 630am. My biological clock is getting from bad to worst. I never sleep this last last time. I used to be a goodie boy. *Okay, I used the wrong terms. My ex-classmates will always say I am naughty-naughty* But, I sleep early aite? Despite how naughty I can be.

At my age, who isn’t and wasn’t naughty? Come on. Accept the fact that we all are. Just whether we want to show it or not. And I think I showed it and my classmates accepted and got brainwashed by my terrible, dirty, horny(Opps, kidding) side. Maybe I am the most notorious one in my class gua. I speak out loud. I talk in a way, fluently. So, what can stop me from brainwashing people’s mind?

Don’t bother annoying me to tell you more unless you come visit me in Starbucks for a cuppa coffee. I am amazing. I am doing reverse psychology. People used to say treat me coffee, but I am asking you to come get a coffee. And someone please make sure I don’t drink too much coffee. It’s not good at all. I puked before, drinking Starbucks last time. I mean I drank too much, I suppose.

I am trying so hard to have confidence in myself. I am getting more perasan too lately, i guess. Working too much with the youth ministry. What to do. But it’s fun. :)

Please comment on my tagbox and the post. It’s dying soooooon.. :(

shucks

I smacked myself for having some unnecessary, dirty, non-motivational, disgusting thoughts in my mind after someone asked me a question.

I smacked myself for that.

Not at this time I think of such things. I don’t even have that 2 minutes to go to the washroom.

And while typing this, I am memorising stuffs actually.

More like regurgitating.

Those thoughts aren’t good for me at this time.

Maybe after exams.

I am walking into the exams hall declaring that My Lord is merciful and His love endures forever. I know He will sustain me for this coming exam week. With the important people around me who are kinda ‘supporting’ me. I give thanks. Nothing better than this that I want. Not at all. I am assuring myself that God is and will be with me and that He will shower me His amazing grace. He knows me well. He knows me best. Every bit of me. Well, maybe I do this every time I have exams but this time is exceptionally different. I am regretting in a way. But God is merciful. I do my part, He will do His part. It’s comforting at times being in His presence. Really. But I do appreciate those who have wished me all the best and who are praying for me. Inside Out. If you are praying for me, do drop me a message so that I can update you on my progress.

DON’T PUT TOO MUCH HOPE ON ME
…i can fail you…

i hate myself. for now.

I really dislike myself for now. Smack me if you want to. Shoot me if you want to. =(

I can’t study. I am doing everything else again but studying.

I tried but I cant. I lack self-control.

AM I GONNA BE IN DEEP TROUBLE THIS SEMESTER?

I need support and encouragement. Is there someone there?

Perhaps people to push me and to teman me and make sure I study.

I hate how I am letting my heart controls my mind.

Shoot me in the brains.

Postive!*edited*

Like I have mentioned in my previous posts, I am trying super hard to look at things positively. Perhaps not things, in general but life. We made it complicated thus, we have the responsiblity to look at things positively. It should help simplify things a lil. Perhaps, less arguments, less fights, less pushy.

I am not saying that looking at things positively equals (=) ignorance. NO NO NO! Definitely NOT. Looking at things positively means looking at the brighter side despite whatever has happened.

For example, my maid is still on her 10 days annual break in Indonesia. I gotta do everything myself. Well, let’s just treat this as some training. Hey, not easy for me aite? I am superly lazy – if you didn’t know!

What else? Hmm.. Anything lah. Just look at things positively and maybe miracles will happen.

You see. An amazing ambigram below. I never ever thought my name could be written in both angles. Never. Not at all. Maybe I am slow. Blur or whatever!~ But it’s amazing isn’t it? You twist 180degrees and you can still read my name. Well, you can try drawing one yourself. If you’re creative enough. Do give credits to me! =P

One side

The other side

Fantastic ambigram, isn’t it? Never you thought you can do that? You can! Looking at things positively is a choice of our own. I used to think negatively and behaves with it. But I am trying. So hard to see things positively. Not to get upset over everything I see. Not to comment over everything someone else does. Tough thing to do. Definitely.

The artist’s initial

The artist is actually Ong Ben Leon. For those who thinks they aren’t good enough to draw it, drop him a message at his blog and ask him to do it for you lah. I don’t guarantee it’s free aite? 😛 He enjoys using his un-blur brain to design and draw. Get him! 😛

Thank you people, my blog readers has increased tremendously. Triple, if I am not mistaken. Still not that high compared to many. But my number of ads clicks – SIGH! People, it’s media. You should be curious and click! =P

Last day of Study Break. Great. Just opened PT Lecture yesterday. I am super gonna screw things up. CIT, i didn’t open YET.

I just realised I’ve been the owner of this blog since November 2005. 3 years 3 months. Approximately. Kinda long actually. Browsing through old posts makes me feel that I’ve grown – in terms of writing. In terms of maturity. I AM NOT OLD OKAYY? Life as a blogger has its own ups and downs. I suppose I did stopped blogging a while but I was forced to by my English teacher who asked us to submit our diaries to her or blog add. Well, I’d prefer blogging, so I went back into it.

I wont mention names. Just so you know, teachers and lecturers visits blog. Don’t be amazed. Teachers nowadays. But well, you know if I were to write on this teacher; you will be laughing your heads out. Probably laughing like mad. You know what it is about lahGood or Bad!

i know i shouldn’t double post

Disclaimer: If you don’t want to spoil your day and cause a fight around, please skip this post or press the ‘X’ on the top right corner. Thank you

I know I shouldn’t double post. But I am currently super duper very annoyed:

  • Sick and tired of someone’s behavior. A stupid few words damaged your thing? Hell NO.
  • Sick and tired of waiting for replies and ignorance. Since day 1, I hated it. Hate waiting too.
  • Sick of people telling me this and that and they themselves do it another way.
  • Hate people who aren’t at all grateful. I feel so friggin’ unappreciated. All the time. And it’s starting to get on my nerves. Don’t in the future come to me when you’re upset when you share the joy with someone else and give me all the pain. I friggin’ feel it. It’s not fair. Not at all. To me. Urgh
  • Sick of people who gives lame and stupid and never-go-through the brains excuses. Really
  • Also, sick of some annoyance caused by the opposite sex doing the above to me. Apparently, it’s the 4th person and still counting. I am not being a sexist but feel me. But that doesnt mean guys aren’t annoying me as well. Not to such an extent YET. I am not saying the opposite sex is bad or anything. For now, they’re just make me feel like strangling them! Really.

Not upset. Just annoyed. Urgh. Goodnight. For those I’ve ignored on MSN, Sorry. Get back to you soon.

Haha

WHO THINKS ALVIN KOK IS A SUPER GOOD BOY?
Everyone right? =P
Okay, for once, I am perasan.

Wanna know why?
Just look at this… This is ruining my whole image NOW.
This person’s MSN has been spamming me with asking if I wanna view my own naked picture, my own cam pictures, my caught-in-the-act pictures. I just think some sickening thing is happening to this person’s MSN. And it’s really frightening if a kid who uses MSN gets this. Can you imagine?


A naked picture of me? She captured it somewhere? OMG. I am such a ‘good good’ boy. And I am not involve in any politics. Why does this person wanna take my naked picture? 😛

Now I start to feel what the politician went through when she first got the news. Haha.

On another side, I start to think and I am gonna screw next weeks finals! My classmates, say ‘YA!’. I’ve not studied. Not a bit. Perhaps, NOT AT ALL. How I am gonna fare? I got no idea. I gotta stop my mind from saying, it’s gonna be like the last two semesters. Hell no. It is not gonna be. The Computing IT and Perspectives in Technology paper is enough to kick me upside down.

In addition, I’ve been staying home, Facebook-ing, MSN-ing, Sleep-ing, Eat-ing. All the -ings you can think off. Except Study-ing. I’ve been downloading a lot as well. Killing my own computer. At every night, almost: I’ve just been going out for dinner and just going out to hang loose with Voucher. His new name. :)

And Lee Jun Lin, you planning to get me a new phone? I don’t mind. You’re a great friend, I know!

And someone just reminded me of the foolish thing I’ve done in college just recently. Stucking a smaller sized memory card into a huge hole; where the width of the huge hole is the height of my micro memory card. Cause it to stuck in there. Urgh. The stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life. How often you see alvin this stupid right?

And Alvin is dying to earn some cash through blogging. You know what to do? Ads? Hmm. Opps! I am getting broke.

Remember, my gadgets are all KO-ed?

And I think life is complicated. Because WE made it complicated. Perhaps, if just one person makes it complicated, it’s worst enough. Don’t you agree with me? Everything’s simple. but humans made it complicated. Just take a look:

  • Science. Who on earth came up with Bio, Physics and Chemistry?
  • Pure Science. Again. Who came up with Applied Science? (Perspectives in Technology, 2009)
  • Money. Who came up with corruption?
  • Love. Who came up with hate?

Ironic isn’t it? We complain and complain about how our life suck but we never realise we were the one that made it happened. But human nature I suppose, we want to attempt. We want to try. We want to explore. Or else, there’s no life right? Yes, Justifying the point again. I am just good at justifying things.

And a WARNING: Do not play with my feelings. It is like playing with fire. Trust me. Feelings can probably tear someone down so much that he/she might not even get back up. And I’ve been through that and I dont want to go through that. You know how much it hurts. When the fire is lit up, there’s no turning back.

Are there any topics anyone wants me to blog about? Ideas?
Maybe I should be doing food, blogs or movies review soon. But let’s see if I got the time.

Oh. This made me remember. I called back Starbucks Malaysia Human Resource Manager today – to get back my job. I guess I’ll be back in Starbucks in less than a week. And most likely, with someone too. :) Let’s pray everything goes well. I need the cash. I want the fun times in Starbucks. I want a better outlet too. I am demanding. I know. But I am grateful having an uncle whom I can just use his big name to secure that job. Okay. Don’t judge me. I applied for almost 10jobs for the 3 weeks duration and all replies that came back was – we will get back to you once we have any news or if you are shortlisted. I have a week to go. I don’t even want to stay home the moment I finish exams. I guess it’s recession. Hard to find jobs. So, I am not spoilt alriggghttt? :S

The 10 Random Things

1. I realised everything has its own seasons. Let’s just take Facebook for an example. Lately. There is a quiz passing around and everyone is dying to do it. Some quiz topics like ‘How good you are at bed?’, ‘What age will you get married?’, ‘What type of person are you?’ and so on and so forth. My newsfeed is filled with such comments and their results. Not that I don’t care but urghhh, to me its like… ‘Not again?!?’Previously, it used to be this picture tagging thingy where people tag each other and go on and on.This taught me that people changes. Mood changes. Seasons changes. People follows the latest trend of all days just to be in the peer, in the group. Many at times, I think that I am not but indirectly, I actually have just got myself into it. Like the quiz above, I ‘thought’ it was fun, so I tried one because I saw friends doing it but hey, I actually think the quiz is so wordy that I don’t want to read it?

2. I wanted to snap a picture or screenshot of the lecture notes that I have to go through before Monday. Honestly, I have gone through NONE. Not a single piece. It’s lying dormant on my table. Maybe dormant is not the suitable word. but I just feel like using that word. I am reluctant to get my external out to just screenshot some stupid lecture notes here. Finals is next week and I don’t seem to give a much big damn about how well I do. I am worst than a sloth currently.

3. As per Ben’s blog, I visited Sabrina yesterday in Gleneagles. Gosh. She has that energy even after the surgery.But well, she is tough. And mum just told me I am not going for that same surgery. Reason being:
– My mum found out it doesnt give a long term remedy. Just 2 years and the thingy will come back
– Surgery and those fainting-medicine haha. Is no good for me as it causes losing of memory.
So, I wont go as for now.

4. I don’t know what is happening to the gadgets(handphones, desktop and laptop) I am using.
My handphone’s keypad is not functioning very well. It hell sucks when you try to sms. I mean seriously. It’s so hard to even ‘tekan’. And worst still, the few unfunctioning-very-well buttons are the 3DEF, 6MNO and *. Can you imagine?

And my laptop, gosh. It’s freakingly slow. And not only that, my sound driver used to has a *tuuuuuuuuuuuut* sound when playing songs as some background addition =P. But now, the *tuuuuuuuuuuuut* has disappeared and came another problem, lagging problems. The songs or dvd that I play, it goes like.. ‘Oh-Wh-y-do-er-es-it-er-hap-er-pens?’. It’s just annoying. If you didnt get what I was trying to express.

And just 2 weeks ago. My desktop, flat screen monitor KO-ed. And now I am struggling with a super old CRT Monitor which is already killing my eyes. Having some headache since the day I am using this. I am not sure if it is some mental thingy but I know the headache is killing me.

Anyone willing to sponsor any of the above items for me? xD

5. I am waiting to fly. Honestly, I am. I know I will miss the people back here for the 2 1/2 weeks but I just want to have some fun. It’s been few years since I went to Aussie. Nah, people who are important to me reading this: I WILL call back. =P My phone has so damn much credit. RM8XX on Maxis and RM1XX on Digi?

6. I am starting to feel a lil worried. I don’t know whether I have chosen the right course for my Degree. It’s starting to be frightening as time comes. Any ideas on what Media Informatics is all about? Anyone?

7. I am enjoying not going to APIIT. Really.

8. I am trying very hard to look at things and life positively. As hard as I could. Ain’t easy but I am trying. :)

9. I have added the 2 little creature on my side bar of the blog. Please feed them by clicking on it. The fishes and the hamster. It will grow I hope. Soon enough.

10. I am actually wasting my time blogging this because I am waiting for Ong Ben Leon for dinner. So whoever thinks this post is meaningless, please blame him XD

i ain’t jealous. cause u know i will write.

A lil personal post:I’ve not done blog review for ages. Let’s hope I get to write something.

I am not at all jealous. Not a single bit. It’s not who writes first. It’s who writes what. That is more important. =P

Introducing: www.mirmanror.wordpress.com

The blog of Ong Ben Leon.

I don’t know who and what influenced him to have a blog. Everyone is giving me that same face, expressions, looks – WHAT? HE HAS A BLOG?

Okay. I didnt mean anything bad. But it’s a good thing that he has a blog. Time to stalk him – I meant well. =P and maybe if he continues to update it when he is in Singapore. =)

The owner’s ***y face =PP

Good start for him. Especially people like HIM!

You guys know I rarely (not a single bit, these days) promotes new blogs. But he being someone important in my life, I better just promote lah. Since he said his friend promoted and i should be JEALOUS! I am not. Definitely NOT. I wrote way longer and I am sure you appreciate a post all by yourself for you. Hahaha.

His blog now basically covers all about food, for now. I have yet to see anything about his life or any sort of other categories. Bear in mind, he loves food. Remember the food post I posted? The Bro who cooks for me? Yeah, this Man in the Mirror thingy is his very own blog. But that doesnt mean I am not gonna post up blogs about his pastas and food anymore. I will. When I get the pics *hint hint*

He has cooked for me, to date. I think 3 plates and 1 pot of pasta. The pot was obviously not for me. I don’t eat that much. Haha. But it’s nice. I used to only eat the basic Speghetti but no longer, after he cooks. Heh

And he, as usual: Arrogant =P. He is just bangga-ing that his blog has 143hits since few days ago. It is considered a lot for a newbie like him. =P. Okay. I told him I was jealous about this. So, whoever visits his blog must visit mine first. I only have close to 8XXX visitors for the past one and the half year. And it has been decreasing lately.

Look at the screenshot below:

Yeah. So tell me about his blog on my tagbox. Feel free to kutuk. =P Opps. Kidding.