Posts Tagged: school


Like I have mentioned in my previous posts, I am trying super hard to look at things positively. Perhaps not things, in general but life. We made it complicated thus, we have the responsiblity to look at things positively. It should help simplify things a lil. Perhaps, less arguments, less fights, less pushy.

I am not saying that looking at things positively equals (=) ignorance. NO NO NO! Definitely NOT. Looking at things positively means looking at the brighter side despite whatever has happened.

For example, my maid is still on her 10 days annual break in Indonesia. I gotta do everything myself. Well, let’s just treat this as some training. Hey, not easy for me aite? I am superly lazy – if you didn’t know!

What else? Hmm.. Anything lah. Just look at things positively and maybe miracles will happen.

You see. An amazing ambigram below. I never ever thought my name could be written in both angles. Never. Not at all. Maybe I am slow. Blur or whatever!~ But it’s amazing isn’t it? You twist 180degrees and you can still read my name. Well, you can try drawing one yourself. If you’re creative enough. Do give credits to me! =P

One side

The other side

Fantastic ambigram, isn’t it? Never you thought you can do that? You can! Looking at things positively is a choice of our own. I used to think negatively and behaves with it. But I am trying. So hard to see things positively. Not to get upset over everything I see. Not to comment over everything someone else does. Tough thing to do. Definitely.

The artist’s initial

The artist is actually Ong Ben Leon. For those who thinks they aren’t good enough to draw it, drop him a message at his blog and ask him to do it for you lah. I don’t guarantee it’s free aite? 😛 He enjoys using his un-blur brain to design and draw. Get him! 😛

Thank you people, my blog readers has increased tremendously. Triple, if I am not mistaken. Still not that high compared to many. But my number of ads clicks – SIGH! People, it’s media. You should be curious and click! =P

Last day of Study Break. Great. Just opened PT Lecture yesterday. I am super gonna screw things up. CIT, i didn’t open YET.

I just realised I’ve been the owner of this blog since November 2005. 3 years 3 months. Approximately. Kinda long actually. Browsing through old posts makes me feel that I’ve grown – in terms of writing. In terms of maturity. I AM NOT OLD OKAYY? Life as a blogger has its own ups and downs. I suppose I did stopped blogging a while but I was forced to by my English teacher who asked us to submit our diaries to her or blog add. Well, I’d prefer blogging, so I went back into it.

I wont mention names. Just so you know, teachers and lecturers visits blog. Don’t be amazed. Teachers nowadays. But well, you know if I were to write on this teacher; you will be laughing your heads out. Probably laughing like mad. You know what it is about lahGood or Bad!

can u ever have the brains to think

Can you ever have the brains to just think about what you just did?
I know I am leaving this blog post hanging. Who the hell cares rite?
Look and see if i really did it.
Don’t just give my blardy name to reach your quota or to get a good reputation as a good teacher. You just suck.
I have not done it and I have to face the music? How ridiculous can this be?
Everyone blardy simply agree that, yeah, YOU SUCK!
Getting some punishments over things I have not done just kills me.
Furthermore, needless to elaborate, you know how strict my school is now?
Just leave me alone.


I am sorry if I ever neglected you in my post.

Writing that I love you will never be enough somehow and someway.
I hope you know that deep within, I am still the same old me.
It has never change and it will never change.
I hope you understand that at this point of time, life hasn’t been great.
But you tried to make it look great for me and I am thankful for that.


What sick is wrong with me huh?

The song ‘Hati Ini Telah Dilukai’ by Ajai and Kris/Nurul just kept playing in my ears.
Probably the novel The Pearl influenced me? I don’t know.
I have songs in my mind and the song will just play based on my feelings in my mind.
How great? -even during exams.
Probably what I wanted to throw out is that:
Semalaman terkenangkan dirimu
mengalir air matu membasahi pipi
mengapa kau sanggup meninggalkan diriku
sedangkan kau tahu perasaan ini
Kau berjanji, akulah kekasihmu
sanggup singkirkan semua cinta yang lalu
tidak ku duga ini akan terjadi
kata perpisahan yang kau pinta
Biarkanlah, biarkan aku hidup sendirian
tak inginku mengenangkan kisah lama
biarkanlah, biarkan aku hidup sendirian,
kerana hati ini, telah dilukai.
Exams is on. So, i don’t wanna blog so longlah. Lazy lazy mee..

at times..

If you were asking me to describe my life in a song 2 days ago, I will sing to you:
It’s been a long and winding journey,
but I am finally here tonight,
picking up the pieces,
and walking back into the light.

But somehow, good things comes to an end-very quickly indeed.

Things went back to how it used to be. Annoying right?

I am so tired of writing how fucked up my life is lately. Really.
Things never seem to be good for me.
Everything is unfair, everything is just screwed up.

I have said, I get annoyed easily by the smallest mistake one ever made.

You can’t blame me. Blame the past.
Ever since that happened, I always feel insecure- wherever I am.
Somehow, I want to let go of so many things. I want to.
But deep inside me, I can’t.
I know I can’t. Blame me for holding things too tightly- but i need time to really put down everything.
I have tried ignoring those things that bothers me, but it’s painful inside- no matter how hard I try to ignore it.
Can someone every understand me for once?


Now, why cant you or any others get off my back. Let me live my life and do whatever i’m contented of doing. Leave me to my achievements and maybe dont challenge me on that. Go make your own. Is it compulsory that i get scrutinised for whatever the fuck i do? You think you know me well, but you hardly understand me!

And you, dont think for one moment that everything’s okay. When one person says something, you have your basic rights to question, when 2 says the same thing about you, then you’re dysfunctional somewhere inside.


Yes, it’s exams time. And somehow, I got numb to the ‘exams period’. Peter Yii has made so many exams for the Form fives. Basically every week, there is exams. So it’s kinda normal for me to just sit for exams. And who the hell cares what results I am gonna obtain.
And for people who knows I am from St. John’s.
Stop giving me that look! Stop giving me that expectations.
I can fail you anytime of the day. Really.
It doesn’t mean I am from St. John’s, I would get 9A’s for my SPM.
It doesn’t mean I am from St. John’s, I would get a job easily.
It doesn’t mean I am from St. John’s, I have a future. A bright one.
Recently, people have been talking behind my back and some, in front of me about how I am expected to perform in many other ways just because I am a Johannian.
I am tired of all these nonsence and expectations.
I am not as good as what you guys are thinking.

Life is kinda annoying, ain’t it?


If you done everything to make me happy just because you need a favour, i feel exploited. I felt like I am being betrayed. And now when it is all over, you are gonna get far far away from me. Up to you!
I have been thinking so much lately. I am just concentrating on the less important stuffs. It has been some time since I lost myself. I just lose that true me. I am now bad at prioritizing. Why so? I just can’t tell myself. My mind is thinking of so many things. It causes me to get mad over the slightest mistake anyone makes. I lost my patience. I LOSE HOPE IN EVERYTHING. I know I am sorry, if i have ever took any of you and threw my tantrums at you guys. I am trying so hard to bottle up everything. I no longer have the guts to spill it out. It hurts deep within me. Yes, say whatever you want, I HAVE MY EGO at times. I use to have people by my side to hear me but when I lost trust. I lose my guts too. It’s so hard to just spill it out.
I think I am getting from bad to worst in terms of studies. Although my results prove otherwise. I know myself best. I know when I will break down- usually at night. Whether or not, I will do well in SPM, i wouldn’t give a damn. I know I am plain stupid to make such statements but I just can’t care, can I? It is not like I don’t care but it is more of I can’t care.
I really don’t care. Trust me. If you want to give me a B, C or even a D for my forecast result for my college application, SO BE IT! Stop threatening me about giving me bad grades. I don’t care. I know I have done all your work. Because of that few rotten apples, you are giving me those grades, YOU JUST AIN’T PROFESSIONAL. Seriously, who the hell are you to give me such grades when I know I can prove you wrong when the real results are out. Yes, it’s my ego speaking again.
Seriously, I feel disturbed. Day and night. Thinking so much. Is it my fault? Or was it yours? People are disappointing my one by one. Am I putting too high expectations on people. Every night, I will ask myself- Am I too much? What did I do wrong?
It seems that everyone thinks it’s my fault. My whole damned fault. But I just don’t know. My ego is there. I am not ready to forgive. Not willing to let go of things. I am holding things too tight. I am not willing to apologise. See, it’s my ego all over again.
It might be better blaming myself for something I have no control over..

I know many are concern about me, it stirred up a lot of questions. Many people message-ed me and I thank God for that. I am still taking life a step at a time. We’ll see what happens next.. =(


I am not against the whole concept of cluster school. Really. Why do I have to? Instead, I think it is a brilliant idea. But no one could have ever thought the miseries that would bring to the teachers and the students if full autonomy have been given to a principal who misuses it.
If you don’t get me, I am saying that the pricipal is making me feel sick with this title. I have said, I am not against the new system. I am proud of the system and I am indeed glad that I am the pioneer batch of this cluster school of excellence. But I am sick with how my principal manage the school after being given this title.Everyone in my school, including me would pretty agree that Mr Peter Yii wants the best out of his students and teachers. But the way he is enforcing the new things, make everyone retaliate at this point of time. I am pretty grateful having a good principal like him- who guides us not only during our secondary school level but more than that. And the coaching he has given to us about moral values, about behaviour and being a student with confidence. I am so thankful.
All I would ask for is that he implement the changes slowly and not being so drastic. You may never know about all the new things he has implement on us after us being declared a cluster school of excellence. Have you ever cared about how your teachers and students feel?
Here are some new things after Cluster School of Excellence:
1. Ujian Pengesanan is a waste of time. This dear principal of mine has decided to have Ujian Pengesanan every month. You might have asked what this is all about? This Ujian Pengesanan thingy is where each subject teacher gives us 4 essays and 4 structured questions with the model answer at the beginning of the month. And at the end of every month, students have to stay back from 2-3 and 2 essays and 2 structured questions are tested. We have to basically write back what we have look through or memorise. Don’t you think it is a waste of time? It is not done during the class hours but after class hours. Why force all of us to get 70 marks and above. If we don’t get 70 marks and above, we will get 2 strokes of cane and we have to re-sit the same paper until we pass with 70. Isn’t it ridiculous? Imagine if we get less than 70 for all the subjects. count for yourself how many canes we are to get? You are basically caning us for our stupidity!
2. Caning from the principal makes me sick! Imagine you go t0 school with fear everyday? The principal enters your class every single day without fail to cane those students who were absent the day before without letter. Damnit! We are 17 and you want to cane us? And all the reports the teacher writes into the class diary, we get the canes from him as well. Is he crazy? He does that to the whole school.. Imagine it? Don’t you feel the fear in me. You can’t blame me. You have used the cane way too much. Basically, we get cane for the smallest mistake we make.
3. Stop encouraging the teachers to give extra class. We are all appealing for shorter school hours and here you are, asking the teachers to lengthen it. WTF? I am tired enough to stay till 2pm almost everyday. What more do you want? And skipping our lunch because of class? It is pure torturing!
4. The teachers are also complaining-every single one of them. The principal is pressuring all of the teachers to improve in their teaching, don’t be late for class, check their books every week (as if we are kindergaten students), and asking the Ketua Bidang to do random inspection on books and class. Teachers too teach with fear now. They no longer give you that smile to assure you that things will be alright, instead, they will give you the fierce faces which just annoys me and take my mood away.
5. Stop giving teachers their targets! Each teacher have been set targets for the classes they teach. For example, 18 people to get Sejarah 1A in SPM for 5/O. Isn’t that ridiculous? If he/she doesnt achieve, they will have to see HIM for some scoldings!
6. Saturday classes. Are you crazy? Most of the Saturday’s you have asked us to come to school for class. What more do you want? It is Saturday! Get a life!
7. The principal should stop coming into the class suddenly and cane everyone when it is noisy.. The innocent will also get it!
There are so many more new things in the school. Before you come for us, look at you damn self! You have cane almost the whole school and it is undeniable that you are very good at caning because it really really do hurts. It makes me start to hate this cluster school concept. It is so pressuring and everyone is going crazy. Can we jsut have some fun in school like we use to have? Give us some time. Don’t rush in implementing so many things! We are no robots. We want you to know we also want the best possible results. Stop coming after us and chasing us like crazy..
Why must I always be the guinea pigs for the governments? I just dislike it!
I really wonder what steps are VI, SAB and CBN taking! We have took so many steps to ensure we are one of the top. I mean to remain one of the top premier centenary school in the country.


I am sorry for putting up my last 2 posts without the consent of tht 2 person. I really am. It was what I felt but I never intend to hurt you guys. You know how much I care and how much I love.

To BL: Thank you so much. I know you have been trying since that day. I can see it in all your messages. I hope things will last. You will always have a place in my heart. The scars are there but I pray, 1 day it will all be gone… =) Although you seldom take initiative, but at least you are responding.. and taking a little initiative.

To ‘buaya’: You know my heart. I don’t have to go on further… =) You have been a great blessing. Love ya!

To SC: You too will have a place in my heart. A significant part. I do hope you know. No matter how down you are feeling, I will always be there- to hear and to help you up. Trust me. This is my promise for you. Hope you are feeling better…

I know I have been a bit rude in my last few posts too, I am sorry.


Sometimes, I don’t know when I am to be selfish and when I am to be selfless. I somehow thinks that I have been selfless way too many time. Enduring everything and anything that is given to me and doing everything for people. Letting people get the fame and I do the job just piss me off at times. Prolly I should not be selfless anymore and I should learn to be selfish. I don’t know…



Anyone going? I am still promoting it again…

Band: 1a.m.

Album: Sold Out
Launch Concert dates: 28th and 29th April at 7pm
Date Venues: 28th at ECF Puchong and 29th at KDU Auditorium
Ticket pricing: RM35 inclusive of 1 free cd and 1 bonus dvd.
For more info, please visit
For a sneak preview, go to:
For video promo, visit
All proceeds go to the charity.

If you want to donate to SJI for it’s Ceriathon- please do so, contact me!

If you are giving mroe than RM 200, your name would be on a speacial board and would be hang in the school forever as long as the building is still there.
Please give generously especially Johannians out there! Your alma mater needs money!
The target is RM 80,000.00 this round.
Once a Johannian, Always a Johannian
By principle and hardwork =)