Brisbane.

Greetings from Brisbane, Australia now!

Trying so hard to put myself back into pieces ain’t easy. I have been giving so much thought about it the past few days and it’s probably killing me whole trip and my entire emotions. But what more can I do? Expect myself to apologise? Expect the other party to do something? I don’t know.

Keeping peace with me the past few nights through prayer. Knowing deep within me isn’t fine but I can’t seem to find a solution. I did wish I can sit down and talk or at least talk. But I am so freaking far away. SMSes? Hmm.. 5 more days to home. Some part of me is already waiting to return. I don’t know why. Reaching at KL blardy early at 4am and need to probably wait till 7am to get home is annoying. There are no buses till 530. Hmmm..

I’ve been walking endlessly and some walk made me learn things. Some aimless boring walk kept me thinking even more.

Nonetheless, it’s 5 days more to home. 6 days more to . . . . I thank God my nose is feeling a little better. I don’t know how to describe. Ask me personally and I might tell you.

I really thank God for the SMSes and the MSN Messages you guys have left me. I did not reply any SMS but I did occasionally replied some of the offline messages. I apologise for my ignorance as I am not too in the mood and my online time is quite limited. I am actually typing this at 12am here. Going to 1am.

I am waiting. I am thinking. I am hoping. I’m all out of almost everything already =(.

I thank God for this solitude in Brisbane – without dad and having some time alone. Maybe God knows I really need this. Badly. I always wonder why wrong things must happen at the wrong time. I really do.

Goodnight people! (to those I never bothered SMSing back!)

Trying to upload pictures but it is giving me hell of a time. Argh!

From Sydney

IN SYDNEY NOW
Was at Hillsong Church yesterday
Was at Harbour Bridge and Fish Market just now
Flying off to Brisbane tomoro
Flying to Brisbane tomorrow
For those who SMSed me and asked me how I am, I am doing okay here.
Sorry, too costly to SMS back. RM 4 per sms.
Not wasting such money although I have more than enough.

Greetings!

Hey guys,

I am officially in Melbourne, Australia. The past 3days and 2nights has been fantastic with great food comprising Malaysian, Italian, Western, Vietnamese and some sort of everything. Trust me. All the weight I lose 2months ago will now all return. Argh. Plus my belt is so freaking lose now. Helpppp!!!

But life’s here been nothing but great! I mean I am missing people back home. The comfort of my Super Single Bed and Bolster. My family, my close friends and all. I do miss them. The weather here is approximately 6 degrees celcious. And I am currently wearing shorts and t shirt with short sleeves with no socks. I am enjoying the weather.

Australia has nothing much different than Malaysia apart from weather, time zone (2 hours faster), people and I’ve got no idea.

The food servings here are for big sized people. A plate of steak here can’t be finished by 2 persons.

Thats all for now and Goodnights!

goodbye Msia, welcome Aussie

My last post before I leave in another few hours time.

I am flying off tomorrow at 145pm. Have to leave about 10am to the airport.

Feeling great yet reluctant. My drugs. Scary. Someone’s leaving. Unhappy.

Well, God always has His own purpose. I’ve chosen to surrender what is gonna happen to Him and Him alone.

He will do great and mighty things in my life.

Australia: Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane: Here I come.

I miss the people in KL so much. I am already feeling it.

My youths are such great and nice people. I guess they are a bunch of crazy people I will miss most. No matter how many of you there, it’s always great fellowship. Great time.

Goodbye Kuala Lumpur. See you after 15 days.

I will try to update a little if I can. No promises. Keep your spamming on my posts and tagboard going okay? 😉

HATE STEROIDS
HATE HOSPITALS
HATE JABS
HATE THE STUPID SMELL
HATE THE ANNOYANCE
HATE THE IGNORANCE
HATE THE FEELINGS
HATE THE PAIN

it’s all in the nose!
it’s all in the heart!
as if my care was all in vain!

sickening
annoying
hurting
do you ever feel me?

I thought I could

Somehow I feel the sense of losing someone already.
I know I have not lost the person; even though its we are separated distance apart.
Knowing your coming 2 years, I suddenly feel all alone.
I know, Life still goes on..
But how is life gonna be?
I have got no idea.

I hope I won’t lose you.
Seeing the flashbacks of my mind the past 2 years just sucks.
It brought me more pain than joy.
However, there was also some moments where I was really made happy.
I don’t want the pain to go on.

Just when I thought things got a little better between us, you are going off.

I realised I have not been doing enough the past 1 week =(
And I am leaving on Monday.
I think what I am doing is of no impact at all.
Not significance. No difference.
I just hope what we are doing now will bring me strong memories I can keep.
The pictures took, the things bought, the gifts – will all now be the only treasure I have after your departure.
But how much are there?
Pictures? I suppose just a few. Nothing great =(
Things? I got no idea
Gifts? The belt is the one and only!

My life is in a deep dilemma.
I can never find someone who understands me as much.

I know I have failed miserably.
I did thought I was okay, But every time I think about it, I ain’t okay.
I did thought I can sail through this, but I am worried of how things will be.
I know you and your treatment for me too well.

SIGHS!

I am pressing on, despite what.
I am looking at things as positively as I can.
As bright as I can.
And spend these precious few days more…

I don’t care how you behave but I will give in my best.

Thats as much as I can do.

I don’t even feel like working anymore tomorrow and Friday.,
I am looking forward to Australia. Looking forward for time to come faster.
But not looking forward to May 12th. Thats for sure.

But what can I do?
What memories of you do I have to keep?
I wonder…

I thought

I thought I got over it but I’ve not. I am taking it in little by little and am doing fine.

Perhaps, I am not being emotional. I don’t know but the feelings are playing around with me.

I wished I can spend the last about 10days before you leave with you – with quality. Doing things that would makes us remember forever. I know for sure Movies, will be something I remember. But I wished that it can be more than just movies. I know I feel demanding. But I don’t want to remember Movies as the things we have done. I want to make an impact and be impacted by you before you leave.

Well, you have already made the impact in my life.

Gahhh… I don’t know what crap I am talking… Sigh

pieces patching back bit by bit

I am putting myself back together after some emotional rundown. It has never been any tougher but I am persistent in doing so. I am gonna put myself back to pieces because I believe everything is gonna be fine.I hope. I pray.

It took me quite a while just now to absorb it and to digest the fact. But I am happy that you are happy. I am happy that your dream since ages ago is coming through.

The pieces of me is going through all kinds of emotions – happy, sad, worried etc etc. but there is nothing I can do to change the fact that you will leave. But I will never change and I hope you won’t too. I can’t change whether or not you will change but I won’t.

Having someone close to you at times feels just so good. Someone to hear you out. Someone to get you going. Someone to encourage you. Someone to annoy you and apologise later. Someone to get you laughing – it all feels so good. In fact, it made me who I am today.

I know I can never find another whom I can be all-honest with. Someone I don’t hide any secrets with. Someone who allows me to release my tantrums on and end up pujuking and never fails to make me smile again. I can never find another.

Distance makes the heart grows fonder? This is the first time someone close to me leaving me (although not that far but its still a distance). Does distance really makes the heart grows fonder?

I pray distance won’t be the boundaries. I am still patching myself back together while writing this. But I am sure I will be fine soon enough. I know my God above have bigger and better plans and I am looking forward to more! :)

Really random

Read this. I am in a very random mood now. You may understand what I am to write or maybe not but read on. Some may really make you laugh. And before you go on reading, I want to tell everyone that I am a superly good good boy okay? Nothing naughty. It’s just for laughs. But do comment on what you are going to see.

1. Firstly, I think my motives for working now is ultimately wrong. I don’t enjoy the process but I enjoy getting the pay. Well, the pay in Starbucks Malaysia is not superly or very high, perhaps, not high at all. So at times, lately, I am getting a little bit lazy. Don’t blame me for that. The rest of them there are worst except for a few. They take time off to chill, smoke, lepak and all the things you can think of. But some of them are really nice!

2. You won’t believe this. People that comes to Starbucks in Times Square are a little bit crazy. People that comes – customers. I’ve picked up this card thingy while I was clearing some tables.

Can you see clearly what its written? Let me enlighten you:
‘Sir, you want any nice young lady, I can recommend for you young and beautiful girl’

As for the Chinese word, I can only see:
DATE, FULSEX, 1.00pm – 6.00am.

Anyone who needs things like that? I pass you the number? :P. The phrases are so grammatically wrong!

3. There was this random customer who came by and saw my Malay colleague working. And he daringly asked for her number but she refused. And what he did…

Waaa.. So daring right? Ask my colleague to call him!! He just wrote his number on the receipt. This is what you call freedom? Freedom of expressions of love? :P. I was like, are you kidding me?
All these funny little things in Starbucks makes your day at times. Doesn’t exactly makes your day but it gets you going.
4. I am feeling terribly guilty over things I’ve done over the past few weeks. I have been wondering and thinking if what I did was right. Argh. I am confused. I hate myself for always doing something and regretting over it. Not exactly regretting, but maybe it is something I shouldn’t at all be doing.

=)

At times, I really can’t help to smile endlessly. It’s amazing to feel happy, relieved and satisfied. It makes my heart feels great! Who doesn’t want life to be a bed of roses? but it is life that we all go through. It is the process that makes us stronger. not the end results of whether being happy or sad that makes us stronger.

Yesterday and the day before was absolutely superliciously amazingly fantastic. I know I have spent a lot, but nothing of it compares to the among of satisfaction in my heart. I love what I did, what I said, what I enjoyed, where I hang out and who I hung out with.

Okay. I admit I am a bad planner. I go to places or go hang out without exactly planning for a destination or a purpose. But on both occasions, things went fine. More than fine. Better than I thought it would be. Forgive me for being so empty minded and not planning everything.

I felt happy because I am able to make someone else happy. Opps, wait. I don’t know whether they are really happy. Shit! But well, if they do tell me they were happy, I would even be even more happier. I know my post today is full of grammatical mistakes.

I am getting bored working in Starbucks. I mean honestly. Grrr. Nothing new that I learn from there but yet I am perserving for the sake of the better-than-no-job situation. Again, who wants me for 1 month? I bet none. I am kinda sick of the people there. Very honestly.

Tuition classes are coming up once again. I know additional income but which means I gotta read up stuffs.

And I have watched Fast and Furious 4 yesterday. To say that it was really really good, it isn’t. But I think it is averagely good la. Nothing so super fantastic about it although I thought the trailer was really good.

I am really counting the days to go for a break. To come back fresh and excited is what I plan to do. I know how much I will miss the people here. But.. I know 3 weeks will fly fast enough and I know I am gonna be responsible to call back – to the people I love.

Nose sinus are such a pain the ass. I have been trying all kinds of ridiculous and crazily unique methods. To cure it ain’t gonna be easy. The remedies are not very very good, as to date. I have been now using sinoclear, and sometimes, breathe right sticker. The breathe right sticker really helps but it is hell expensive. I don’t know how it works. Sticking a piece of sticker there can help me really breathe properly. It’s too ugly to wear it out =(. But breathing problems is something you pray you will never have. But I suppose its from birth. And I can’t stand heat!!!! So it makes things worst.

I am trying to identify the components of my new desktop since it is gonna be custom made. According to dad. But I am torn between so many. I want reasonable yet good, fast and high speed. I don’t want to regret. Things like memory, operating system, storage, drives is like making my head go round and round. I need something cheap la, in short.

I have just got about 20 copies of the new FIFA ONLINE Game. I got it from somewhere. Apparently, it is legal. If you wan’t, leave me a message or hit me. I’ll pass it to you. Or else I’ll probably just distribute it among my youths lor.

I am being a sloth recently. And I tell you: IT IS BAD!

Results of the elections are out. The Batang Ai, Bukit Selambau and Bukit Gantang. The results are quite suprising to me. Although I have no idea who will win this time because of the unexpected decisions from our new Prime Minister. But it is funny how our political situation has became from good to bad and bad to worst. I treat it as a drama lately. It’s interesting enough to keep me updated and to keep me able to have conversation with others.
I am following on Malaysiakini.com for the results and all. We’ll see.

Random? Yeah, tell me about it. =)