I know. Tell me you all hate hearing this at this point of time. A day after Chinese New Year. But I had this urge to write something down before I rush back to college for my second class.

Life can be so fragile at times. You may be here today. Gone tomorrow. In a glimpse. No one knows what is to happen next. It is so uncertain that things can and will go wrong in life. I may be here today but that does not mean I will be here tomorrow.

Seeing and hearing the deaths of the people around me, at various age- 22, 25, 40plus and all just probably helps me realise that God can take you home anytime anyday. I used to think, ‘I am still young, still got time, still got chance’. But just so you know it, people at young age just passed away just like that we causes unknown.

I may look healthy to you; but who knows whats next? Before I think through about the deaths of the people around me and blogged. I actually had a fear. A fear that something will happen to me later. The foolish me took my laptop out from my bag, my external hard disc and all the valuable sort and kept it in the cupboard. I am afraid that something would really happen later.

But now, it strikes me. Why am I so afraid when I know God is on my side and He has his plans for me. If He takes me home, I know that I have lived a good life. Humanly speaking, everyone agrees with, ‘Us coming to the world crying, leaving the world smiling when people around us is crying’. It talks about the impact the deceased has on the people around.

I don’t know. As I am writing this, I contemplate about so many things. What am I gonna feel if the same thing happens to the people around me. I mean those really close. I had the best shock of my life when someone asked me if my close friend passed away just few months back. Thankfully, it was the wrong person.

Well, life on earth is short. It is just our temporary home. I am trying to get that to sink into me. But I can see it isn’t really working. You won’t believe and wanna know how many nightmares I had when my maternal grandmother passed away few years back. I cried in my sleep. I screamed in my sleep. And I went crazy at that young age although I wasn’t really really really close to her. Just see her once a week probably, or even less.

The week was horrifying. Was crazy. After a week or so, it went off. With all the miserable chanting (Bhuddist funeral), I had more terrifying moments. It just scares me at that point of time. For almost a year or so, I never wanna see what is in the coffin although I attend funerals (rarely).

I don’t know what I am crapping. But I am filled with misery as I wrote this. I know I hate deaths but what can I do? Nothing. Bringing them to know Jesus maybe. But life will always be life. Maybe I should not hold things to tight. The tighter I hold, the worst it gets. Maybe I should let go and let God take the wheel of my life.

I don’t know… Gaaaaaaaahhhhh!~

*God, protect me from all evil thoughts and protect me in wherever I go. May your peace comforts me and your joy feels me for You’re a sovereign God. I love You and adore You. May you protect the people I love and care for too. Help me to surrender myself and let You take control for You see the big picture and I don’t. Help me to understand this life.

Wow, I was just wondering what to type. The moment I opened blogger. The song ‘God of this City’ bu Chris Tomlin just played. Maybe after all, God is reminding me something since my playlist has loads of secular songs as well. But just that the time I wanna blog, the song popped up.

Had an aimless day as usual. Here and there also revolves The Bro. But well, contemplating over a few personal things now. Something that I am still thinking if I should act on it. Or maybe I should take in more time. But time isn’t really on my side. March is it- the end. Should I pursue or let go? I can’t make up my mind. Some thinks it is so easy to decide on this but it isn’t. Many factors to look at. I know I am talking french (no one of you will understand except tht few) But sighs…

On another hand, I am afraid of losing people close to me. I mean for real. It seems such a terrible nightmare when I think about it all the time. I know am not God but I am just afraid. I have loads of crazy nightmare. Enough to probably kill me. There was this thought that something happened to one of my family member (which I loved the most) got kidnapped or ran over. And I was telling myself, No.. And it really haunts me. Hate such thoughts. Praying over it every night.

I will get back to blogging as soon as I am free. =)

Have a BLESSED CHINESE NEW YEAR!

I am out of blogging juice. Officially.
I don’t know what to write and I don’t know what to say.
Maybe I am ‘out-growing’ blogging. I am not that old after old. But I start to think I am.
Many things have been happening in and around me.
Some were fantastic; Some were ordinary and some just sucked big time.

But my life has been like a roller coaster. Once it can be sooo good, and just another second, it can be sooo bad. It’s both extremes. But throughout last year and this year, I noticed I’ve changed quite some bit in terms of my own thoughts. I don’t know how good this is anyways.

I just got back from Singapore exactly a week ago and I think I love Singapore for some things and some I just don’t. But this is life isn’t it? God doesn’t give everything to just one person or one place. He is a fair God and I am amazed by that. Despite whatever weaknesses that it within me, I have always tried to make myself believe I have my own strengths and weaknesses that others don’t. Which is why this makes lives. It’s unique in it’s own special way.

Singapore trip was full of fun and craziness. I was actually there to attend Undignified Singapore 2009 by Grace Methodist Church. This was the team that was in KL just few months back for Undignified KL 2008. They were an awesome team with great hospitality. I managed to experience a night of exuberant worship (which I don’t always get because I am serving), shopping, a visit to Night Safari and Bugis Street (Bugis Street isn’t too amazing after all. Infact, I dislike it). It’s been 4 years since I last been to Singapore and there aren’t much changes. Familiar roads, Familiar stuffs but one thing, food is a no no there. I bet you can’t imagine eating a sugar-filled Char Kuey Teow and Fried Carrot Cake. Sweet like crazy. Okay, maybe Malaysians are too ‘ham-sap’ :P. We put too much salt. But I still enjoy Malaysian food.
Some pictures that I am too lazy to upload:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=683957575&aid=82585
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=683957575&aid=82574
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=548776209&aid=95182

Apart from that, college has been too easy going. As usual I think I am going to slack and probably die in Degree Level 1. If I keep on going with such a pace.

Officially, new house has been busy. Dad has been enjoying asking people back. I am like, ‘Noooo.. Not again!?’. It’s too many. I think I am having another house warming this Tuesday. Counting, it’s like the 7th house warming already. Isn’t the house warm enough, I wonder? But no matter what, my own house warming will still rock 😛

Apparently, 09 will be a year of torturing for me. Hearing tough and terrible comments can kill you. But well, I gotta endure. And for your info, it is also gonna be busy as I am taking over Jessie as ROCK President 2009. So, sounds cool? Erm, I don’t know. I should just remain speechless for now till I really get to my office. I mean get things working.

Chinese New Year is coming. And it is nothing about angpaus. But of course, it matters in a way.. haha.But it is another New year to probably be happy about.. I hope I can have stuffs to talk about then just my plain boring life in my next post. Which I myself don’t even know when.. 😛

I am soooo sooooo so exhausted after a whole day in church from about 6.30am for Prayer Watch and there starts my day. It was exciting yet was tiring finishing the unfinished stuffs and the logistics. I can tell you it’s scary when at 4pm, nothing is really done for the pre-event. A crazy day. I know I somewhat scolded many people as well. But wells, I apologise for that but I hope it was for the good.

Had a tiring day and I think I took the lift for umpteenth times and all. And walk the stairs countless steps. But I think it was worth all the hardwork and effort we have poured in. Many people came and lives has been changed and transformed. I wished and know there is more. It ain’t gonna stop there and next year it will happen again!

That night was filled with fun and excitement. The youths were not as energetic as I thought but their energy was pretty good as well. The too had a great night and God’s anointing and power definitly filled the hall and His presence is strongly felt. I was so afraid and nervous when I was up there but God’s peace has been upon me. I startled initially but managed to put words together into one piece.

I am amazed that people thought we actually invited in the 2 hosts; which many thought they were pretty good and had great chemistry. It took so long to select these 2 and to get them into it. The pre-event wasn’t very successful but some people did enjoyed themselves.

And what more God hold the rain just for us for the night. We prayed for the weather so hard in the afternoon as we were so afraid that it will rain but God was so great that He hold the rain and brought so many people to come. I admit I underestimated God’s power. I thought if there were more than 200, it would be great. But God gave way more than that. God gave over 300. It was Hebrews 11:1 which talks about Faith; I was doubting. But He was still faithful.

Indeed, it was a humble and great start for all of us and we’ve learnt so much from this. And we want next year to be bigger and better for God’s glory. This is one of the greatest achievement from ROCK and I am proud to be in this great project. I am so excited for another year (althought I don’t know when). I am sure God will use this concert celebration for His own glory and for His the renown of His name.

Maybe we should even start praying for ADORE 2009. Am sure God will answer our prayer to increase by a hundred or to even double up the amount. KL Youths out there needs this shining light of Christ.

GOD IS AWESOME.

Pics will be out when I get it.