But for now, I think my ‘Capacities are Expanding’ which is somewhat, caused by circumstances around me. Which I am forced to expand my capacities because the capacities are expanding.

Okay, it’s confusing. If you don’t get it. Fine.

I foresee an exciting year ahead. A very fun one I assume. Praying for it at least.

What more can I say; although there will be 1 or 2 people I cherish leaving me (again!); but I will press on. The person promised me much for now =)

I love how happenin’ my youth’s SPM-ers/STPM-ers are. Macam care free only. =] They are like behaving as if SPM is NOT COMING AT ALL. I love them all and they have truly been a blessing to me. No where I can find such rockin’ youths.

And everytime I think of these few (just few) happy pills in my life; my heart fills with laughter and joy despite how painful things can be. And how much I dislike the life I am going through after my heart being in pieces. I am struggling to put it back into a piece and I know I can do it.

=]

By the way, I am looking forward to Hong Kong. One awesome trip with the bunch of youths! We love HK, We love Disneyland. And I can’t wait. It’s gonna be different with them. All of them! =)

Catch you soon. Hopefully with some pictures next post! =)

But at least I have got loads of sleep. and my work is not that far behind after all. I love my work – I guess. Although it can be tough at times; but I see the joy of doing it. For now. Okay, I was trying to be positive. =D

I have been losing self-control recently. Thats superly bad. Hating it. But I’m trying. For now.

I am losing my motivation to blog. But please bear with me as I find the blogging juices once again.

Let me know and encourage me when you drop by! 😀 I’d truly appreciate it.

=]

In a good way, I think it was good tht my old design screwed up.

So that I can change and hopefully motivates me to blog.

Tell me if you like the new layout?

I like it because it is simple.

And I hope to be back soon talking about what my current semester is all about.

Goodnight =]

*when time takes away the hurts*

Just when you thought the pain has subsided. It has not.

urgh.

But God has been sustaining me through it all.
though the pain

When you tried all you could, but it just won’t seem to work out. – no matter how much u tried, how much u do, how much u give and how much you this and that.

People around will never seem to be able to comprehend what I feel right now.
This feeling suck big time.
Yes, i really feel like being vulgar, for once. =(
But I am suppressing it here. And taking it alone.

Yes, this is an emo post.
Don’t read if you are not interested.
Anyways, my blog is dead.
I am just writing to release my screwed up emotions.

I thought this would be a fantastic long weekend in Singapore.
But no, it was nothing fantastic.
Staying in KL might be better.

Or maybe I should blame myself.
I should not have bothered and put expectations in myself.
Nevertheless, too late.
I now end up in a deep screwed up mode which no one would understands how I feel.

Not like I’ve not tried being positive.
Not like I’ve not tried being patient.
Not like I’ve not tried giving in.
Somehow, I think I just realized a friendship or relationship with someone takes 2 hands to clap and not just one.

If it was one, maybe things in this world would get less complicated.

Now it is sinking into my head that I’ve been clapping the wall all these while.
Now it is hitting me twice as much as it used to.
Now, my heart is just numb at how things are.
Am I giving up?
I don’t know.
Deep inside, I know it’s reluctant.

It’s twice as pain when night comes.
When you start to think and wonder. And burst into tears.
At the same time, getting yourself back into reality.
Reality can be sooo painful right now.
I can never express it in words. Anymore.

Disappointments is prolly the greatest hurt in me right now.
Or perhaps, it has always been.
I wished I could be an overcomer.
But 2 mornings passed, I’ve yet to become one.
I wished I could just say, ‘What? Oh.. Nothing’
But I can’t
Because this means so much to me.

What have I done to deserve this?

-leave me alone-
-in solitude-
i appreciate just that.

When I type haha, it doesn’t mean I am laughing.

When I write :), it doesn’t mean I am smiling.

When I smile, it doesn’t mean within me smiles.

And the list goes on.

I hate writing about this.

So, I shall stop.

It’s all me. Myself.

I am agitated. When I found out more.
I wish I didn’t.

And so, goodnight.

Sighs.

Listening to True Worshippers Album right now.

I think it’s awesome.

I just got an offer from HomeSchool to be a part time tutor.

HomeSchool is a school ministry from United States following the US syllabus for students of all ages.

It is a programme designed for students who is not good enough or too good; as it does not follow a grading system. It goes along as you complete each level regardless of time.

It’s owned by my church! One of the children ministries.

HomeSchool at church is one of the growing daily ministries and has full time or part time students. I am going in for observation tomorrow and getting a new Iranian student on Monday.

Definitly it’s not much about the pay but me using my time wisely.

So, I reckon it’s gonna be fun!

I never expected this anyways.

So, working hours from 8:30am-3pm

And next year, I am suppose to come in as a Part Time Tutor.

They are following my semester’s schedule for a 2 hour class a week.

But next year, I am only teaching Malay Language.

Well, teacher in the making.

I love children anyways.

Malacca with some youths next Friday!

Singapore from 29th-31st October.

Hong Kong from 26th Dec-2nd Jan.

I love travelling.

Have been dead bored the past few days.

Time to do some work.

Yesh, I owe you all a post on the Top People In My Life.

I am just lazy.

I can’t believe I am bored to death currently now.

How I look forward to Singapore and Hong Kong trip! 😀

Dying to have something to do; place to go to; someone to talk to and crap with.

Hahaha. I am not making you all jealous but I am bored to death.

What else can do ah? 😀