People around will never seem to be able to comprehend what I feel right now.
This feeling suck big time.
Yes, i really feel like being vulgar, for once. =(
But I am suppressing it here. And taking it alone.
Yes, this is an emo post.
Don’t read if you are not interested.
Anyways, my blog is dead.
I am just writing to release my screwed up emotions.
I thought this would be a fantastic long weekend in Singapore.
But no, it was nothing fantastic.
Staying in KL might be better.
Or maybe I should blame myself.
I should not have bothered and put expectations in myself.
Nevertheless, too late.
I now end up in a deep screwed up mode which no one would understands how I feel.
Not like I’ve not tried being positive.
Not like I’ve not tried being patient.
Not like I’ve not tried giving in.
Somehow, I think I just realized a friendship or relationship with someone takes 2 hands to clap and not just one.
If it was one, maybe things in this world would get less complicated.
Now it is sinking into my head that I’ve been clapping the wall all these while.
Now it is hitting me twice as much as it used to.
Now, my heart is just numb at how things are.
Am I giving up?
I don’t know.
Deep inside, I know it’s reluctant.
It’s twice as pain when night comes.
When you start to think and wonder. And burst into tears.
At the same time, getting yourself back into reality.
Reality can be sooo painful right now.
I can never express it in words. Anymore.
Disappointments is prolly the greatest hurt in me right now.
Or perhaps, it has always been.
I wished I could be an overcomer.
But 2 mornings passed, I’ve yet to become one.
I wished I could just say, ‘What? Oh.. Nothing’
But I can’t
Because this means so much to me.
What have I done to deserve this?
-leave me alone-
i appreciate just that.