stupid high fever

On June 7, 2008 by alvinkok With 0 Comments - Uncategorized
I am suffering from a high fever. A very ridiculous and terrible one. Have not been having a good sleep last night. Can’t wait till the sun shines again. Thats how much I wanted yesterday to be totally over. I have not been ill for quite some time but this time I am. I don’t know whether if it is the aftermath of the camp or is it the thinking-too-much syndrome that has caused me this illness. I am having a severe headache and worst still throat pain. Being the loud me, I jsut don’t want to lose my voice. I have been drinking endless amount of H2O for your information but the result seems to be annoying. I have been going to the washroom like the last time I was trying to abstain myself from getting germs. I visit the toilet like every 5-10minutes. It is annoying. It isn’t like my room has a toilet. Grrrrr… The pimples in my face are also getting larger and larger and I am too lazy YET to wash it all away. And the itchy bitchy fingers of mine keep peeling it for no reason. And one more amazing thing- I don’t feel like eating anythin! Seriously, i crave for no food apart from maybe Starbucks. Shucks. No remedy of sms-es I got either. Sheesh (Opps, talk to Max too much. I noticed after typing it. Naturally. Ish)
I am trying my best to just look forward and look at things positively but well, the usuals come along. But at least it is slightly better now I suppose. I am starting to be ignorant to many things lately. Maybe I shouldnt but certain things are worth ignoring. Trust me! I am sleepy. I need my nap. I wish of many things right now. But it seems that many will NOT come through.
But one thing- I can’t wait for my big day to come this year!!
And to the special someone, no matter how busy you are, I’ll still be here =)

is it gonna over tonight?

On June 6, 2008 by alvinkok With 0 Comments - Uncategorized
I wonder and ponder is everything gonna be alright if tonight is over? I am still thinking and asking myself, some people don’t deserve your care but well, it seems that not many people read the post here anyways, which includes this person. I am just letting out my frustration and disappointments. I am waiting for an SMS. I wish it could make my day brighter at least. One and the half hour and this day is over! I don’t care wherever you are but I kow you don’t care. Have all the fun you want today. I know you’ve had it all and not even bothering if I am getting sick and all. What is with the SMS saying that you were worried, glad that I replied, when am I coming back from camp? All nonsense I suppose. With just a few short replies, you just went to bed and tell me to take care. What a selfish act. Do you really care? Are you really worried? Let’s just ponder. What have you done to show you are worried? By going to bed yourself? Aughhhh
Was in Mid Valley today. The aimless me, Edmund, Tun Ching and Justine had Kenny Rogers while the rest- Chern-I, Dodol, KP, Weng Yew, Ivan and Jian Hong were at a Japanese restaurant. We had Starbucks to get my dosage after that while we TRIED to discuss our OSE Group Assignment. TRIED- look at the word! Dark Mocha Frap isn’t as good as the old Dulce something something. Was emoing in Starbucks a while too. Was also SMS-ing Max some part of the day to let my anger and emos out. Am sorry though!
I wanna blog about Justine. She’s tomboyish acts can make me laugh the whole day. While Tun Ching tries to burst the balloons in the car while I was the victim of all the bursting. I don’t know why but I suppose I better get thsoe camp balloons out of my bag. Justine is just amazing. Her laughs is contagious. My sleepyness and emos are contages too. We are bad people. Giving and spreading nonsense in college. I don’t know what I am crapping about but I felt like writing…

annoyed!

On June 6, 2008 by alvinkok With 0 Comments - Uncategorized
I get so annoyed when people uses my God name in vain. God says this God says that! The worst thing is to curse and swaer with my God’s name. I mean come on, get a life! It’s not everything you say God says its true and not everything you says God did He did. It’s not that I don’t believe that God said it and God did it but somethings when people uses God’s name is super ridiculous. This is my God. You want to fool around with other names, I don’t care. You want to call people names, I don’t give a damn but please, not with my God’s name! Sometimes people uses human understanding to say that God says for the sake of saying but hey, do you realise that the 10 Commandments say that Do Not Use His Name in Vain. Somethings are really done and did by God but some are really not. You people just think that using God’s name is such a happy thing. Think people! I’ve had enough. From before camp, till during camp and now after camp I still hear such things from you bunch of people! I’ve said I hate you people using my God’s name and I hate you people cursing and swearing in front of me. Isn’t the stare of mine not enough everytime you say it? When will you people ever grow up and behave like an adult? You are about 18.
I hate people twisting my words too. You want to listen, you listen clearly. You don’t twist my words and say this and that. Sometimes it is really annoying when you hear people says ‘Alvin says this..’. If you want what you want, tell me and I’ll see what you want. In college life, minor things like these struck people like me easily. When doing work or assignment, if you think you aren’t capable, SAY IT! Don’t come and delay all the heck of work of mine. Seriously, sucks!
Tell me today is emo day for me. Yeah, it is. I hate today for some stupid reason you won’t want to know. It’s 6th June. I just hate this date like never before. I am just being honest. The end f today symbolises me going into another year of hurt and pain? I don’t know. When will this ever end? I am thinking a lot today. The past strikes me bad. Not in the mood for anything today. Starbucks was just a temporary remedy. Nothing can make me smile for the 2 someone, for now. I need some sort of remedy. Heal me! :(

over! it’s over!

On June 5, 2008 by alvinkok With 0 Comments - Uncategorized
Camp is finally over. Without a doubt, it was one of the greatest camp I myself have ever had. Not because I was organizing it but because God’s presence was so strong in the place. We had many memorable occasions throughout the camp. The LORD blessed us with all 86 campers. I am glad the LORD has chosen and given me this opportunity to serve. It was a great experience for me. It may cost me to be tired, moody and so on but all my sleepless nights were worth every part of it when you see the smile on the campers face. They are just happy with how much the camp has blessed them with. I am sure we brought home something valuable from Golden Sands.
It’s All About Him I would say. Counting Him as my only source and resource was one of the greatest experience I’ve learnt. It was nothing about me but Him alone.
I was quite disappointed with certain people who took responsible lightly. Well, there will always be up and downs in such an event. But God was gracious. I was also quite annoyed with the attitude given to me by certain people who does not have the attitude of submission to authority. Some people just enjoy complaning and not only that, discourages the team and does not listen to instructions. God placed authorities for us for a reason and I am sure that God desires everyon to submit to their authority including myself. Everyone has their own respective authority.
PA was down for the first 2 days. Cause many to starin the voices in camp too. It was a distraction I’d say in terms of communication without the PA as a tool. Worship was great, it could be distracting but things are fine. You see people turning their eyes unto God through worship. No one could deny that Worship brings Change. It changes the lives of many.
Pastor Daniel was a great speaker as well. Many were touched and saved. I’m not in the mood to blog much though. I hope I get the pictures to upload asap.
**********
*alvink hates tomorrow. He really does. Tomoro will be a year of suffering he has endured. He hope there wouldnt be another year. He’d be moody tomorrow. Or perhaps he is already moody already. He doesnt give a damn though. He thinks no one cares about tomorrow either. :S

re-do tag by max

On June 5, 2008 by alvinkok With 0 Comments - Uncategorized

a. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc on shuffle.
b. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
c. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN, NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
d. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
e. Put this on your blog.

1. If someone says,”Is this okay?”
For All You’ve Done? (Well, for all he has done. Sure okay la)

2. How would you describe yourself?
Consuming Fire (speechless)

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
All About You (Yeah.. all about Me and my choices :P)

4. How do you feel today?
To The Ends of the Earth (Yeap. Feel like leaving this place and going to the ends of the earth)

5. What is your life’s purpose?
My Best Friend (Wow… errr)

6. What is your motto?
What the World Will Never Take (hahaha)

7. What do your friends think of you?
Salvation is Here (Gosh.. So unrelated)

8. What do you think of your parents?
Tell the World (OMG)

9. What do you think about very often?
Look to You (Looking to Him.. i suppose)

10. What is 2+2?
All I Need is You (hmmm)

11. What do you think of your best friend?
All for Love(I bet all for love they care except one)

12. What do you think of the person you like?
Everyday (lol.. What is with everyday)

13. What is your life?
God is Great (Yeap. he is. I thank God for life)

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Magnificent (I suppose)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
This Is How We Overcome (That is how I will overcome I suppose)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
When You Tell Me That You Love Me (Well.. at least it is related)

17. What will they play at your funeral?
Rain Down (Opps)

18. What is your hobby/interest?
It’s All About Jesus (true true)

19. What is your biggest fear?
Praise Him (So untrue)

20. What is your biggest secret?
Oceans Will Part (well.. grrr)

21. What do you think of your friends?
At the Cross (Haha.. Crucify them then :P)

22. What will you post this as?
For Who You Are

23. What song would you play during your first time having sex?
Take It All (hahahahahaha)

8 people to tag:
Anyone I suppose.. my usuals

*I’ve done this tag before long time ago.
*I was lsitening to mostly all Christian songs this morning. So, yeah!

tough? or not..

On May 31, 2008 by alvinkok With 0 Comments - Uncategorized
alvink once told himself that he’d be strong. Or perhaps he’d be tough.
He told himself he should stay strong in whatever he is doing and never to give up neither to give in to unnecessary demands. Till now, I think I’ve successfully done it but I think I’d fail really soon.
All this I am talking about is about organizing a youth camp.
I told myself I didn’t want to be like past commanders that break down along the way. Neither did I want to be emotional and give up cause it would stopped me from giving my best to God’s people. There is no exact recipe to protect me from not breaking down other than to keep myself covered my persistent prayers constantly.
At this point, I have less than 24 hours where the battle and war would begin. Will it be a victory won or am I on the losing end? No one knows except the Father in Heaven who knows. There are just so many things flooding my mind endlessly today. I tried to take a nap and I told myself to at least have a 3hours break and rest so that I will be able to be ready for the camp. However, in just an hour plus, my phone was flooding with miss calls and messages that finally woke me up. I am not annoyed neither am I being stupid for not-offing my phone. I find it glad that people are FINALLY taking things seriously.. A day before the camp.
Now I am awake and I can’t rest.
I am doing doing and doing work and work and work alone.
Sometimes I am starting to feel the stress. Or perhaps I am already feeling it. I am feeling the responsibility God has placed on me- to take care of the campers that is. Not just take care; but take good care.
I am already feeling the tension in the air as things are still not really done up. I don’t know it’s either I keep giving myself things to do or is it really not done. Nametags, Handbooks, T-shirts are all well packed and ready to go. Yet I am still doing certain unnecessary gifts and cards and games for the campers. Doing gifts and cards for them is not easy. You can believe me. All 85 campers is not an easy task to do. Are those things unnecessary? I still believe sacrifice made for each and every camper will not be in vain because I really want them to enjoy the camp even at the expense of my own time and emotions.
I am again feeling the pain too. Thinking of those I dearly miss not going for this camp I am organizing. The lack of support from this parties sometimes just makes me feel worst. At times I needed support and encouragement, no one was there. Sometimes, just an sms or a MSN Message would really cheer me up. Ah. I am giving myself false hopes again. They won’t!
Read this blog title. ‘tough? or not’. I don’t want to be emotional or too stressed up like the previous camp I was doing for games. I don’t want to. I want myself to be able to not just take care of the campers in the camp but I myself getting something valuable from the camp. I hope this would be an eye-opener. A camp that can refresh myself and my heart. To learn and to un-learn. To give and to take. I know. Sometimes, things like these might be at the expense of my own emotions and time. But I know my treasures I stored in heaven.
PD, Here I Come!
I will see my readers after my PD Trip.
Have fun with me for those who are going.
For those who are not, I hope you guys really regret for this camp is gonna be great and I am sure it would be a life-changing experience for each and everyone of the campers.
I need a break.
Had lunch appointment today. Having dinner with grandpa for his 75th Birthday at a restaurant with no handphone line. Maybe God doesn’t want me to think too much.
And well, kill me for this! Starbucks really made my day yesterday.
When I am so stressed, Starbucks does help a lil.
The new drink is really nice. Sweet Caramelly Coffee taste! :)
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PD/Malacca Lepak Trip!

On May 29, 2008 by alvinkok With 0 Comments - Uncategorized
Sharon and her ‘Wanton Celup’Justin and his I dont-know-what
The-aimless-4
Part of the-aimless-4
The cendol
RM 4 bucks egg tart with bird nest. Can you imagine that?
Celup-Celup Melaka!!
Satayyy!
Waiting..

harvard referencing system…

On May 27, 2008 by alvinkok With 0 Comments - Uncategorized
I know. A stupid title.
You know why? I hate using Harvard Referencing System in my assignments. It is just so incovenient. You bold, you italic, you bold and italic, you etc etc etc.
It’s just such a hassle doing it. My assignments are complete.
I am quite proud of my PDSM Assignment though.
Personal Development and Study Methods
But not the referencing. I have done the referencing but it is not to Harvard Referencing System. I know there is nothing I can do complaining about this.
I hope you people check out this crazy Referencing System and if you have a choice, please use the Chicago System and so on which is way much easier. Why make life so miserable?
But well, I still have to complete it or else no Hillsongs for me tomorrow. No camp preparation on Friday and no rest time on Saturday.
And what a great news..
Maths test postponed AGAIN till next Wednesday. I freaked out when I heard about it.
Nevertheless, i went to see my lecturer. I can postpone the test till the next tutorial when I come back from camp. I was like thanking God with all my heart. I thought I have to rush back from PD on Wednesday afternoon to sit for the test. But, GOD is great!
See.. He is testing me…
And my collegemates: Please tell me the Maths questions after you people have done it k?
Muahahaha.. :)

assignments.. oh assignments!

On May 26, 2008 by alvinkok With 0 Comments - Uncategorized
Alvin Kok Eu Leong, oh Alvin Kok!
Finish up your assignments!
Yes yes! I am giving myself reminders that I have to finish up my individual assignments especially PDSM by this Thursday or else I’d be dead with such a fierce lively lecturer!
If I want to go to camp in peace, I must finish up all my assignments.
Exams and test will be on Wednesday and Friday. I don’t know a single thing on what I have been learning the past 2 months. Or is it I know but just acting don’t know? Oh gosh, I better work out my Maths and run through my Parameswara History in the next 24 hours or else, you know I know lah!
I need to get off with my Semester 1 in order to go Semester 2. So, I really gotta finish up my work! Feeling busy but actually I am not that busy. Maybe my mind is busy I’d say.
Looks like I wasn’t the only one who have had a 1-week aimless semester break. My collegemates did. And yeah, I did too. We did nothing but eating, sleeping and gaming or even pool-ing. But I think eating is in my class’ top priority! They went to Penang to eat, Some went to PJ for Seafood, some yam cha at 1U and I? Aimlessly went to Malacca to eat eat and eat too!
So, imagine our class? Elephants? 😛
Are we?

random

On May 26, 2008 by alvinkok With 0 Comments - Uncategorized
I have learnt. I have noted.
I am going through trials.
I see that when I am emotionally down. I am spiritually strong.
Seriously, you see me blogging about how much God has blest me and and all.
You know. Spiritually I am in line.
I suppose God is testing my patience and God is putting me through trials.
And I am certain that God can bring me through this as He put me through this.
Indeed, God has been great and emotionally, I am healing.

Camp is coming sooooooo soon! I can’t wait even a minute longer.
I hope God will really show me something great in this camp and show me who He really is! :)