Do you just notice if I have changed? Or am I in the process of changing.

I am back into the story of him.

I have never imagined myself being so cold towards him. Never once gave it a though that I could live without his care and his love and his messages. It once hurt me so much but now, i feel numb. He has changed too. He has been trying to be the best bro he can ever be. But to me, I am so used to his ignorant and all that now I am just clueless. Sometimes I still do hate him so much for doing certain things to me. Sometimes I hate him for being so selfish. Sometimes I hate him for being demanding. I just hate so much I realized and it is going nowhere. I know I shouldn’t be this way when he is trying to ammend this broken relationship between us. But it seems empty on my side. As I am writing this, tears are flowing down. I am trying to give it a try by also being the best to him as I could be but it seems that it is not working. Honestly, I used to hold my phone so tightly to myself because I was waiting for their messages. But no longer now, as one is busy; and the other- even if he messages, i have put it aside. But he is still my bro yesterday and today and he is still dearly in my heart

I have no regrets knowing him and spending so much time with him. Never will I wanna leave him because I still do care. I am just fixing this whole piece of puzzle in my life.

I have had a rough week. Honestly, It can’t be any better. I miss a number of people in my life. I’ve come to realize that the tighter I hold on to things, the more God wants to take it away from me. The more I take things lightly and surrender it to Him, the more I have it.

This week has been so rough that I hardly even have time for myself. I feel such a burden doing certain things that I hate doing. Why is it so rough? You may asked- it’s something only I’ll know.

Oh ya! This was HIS(BL) birthday present.. -was too lazy before this..

Wednesday- our usual outing day.

But this time was to also celebrate Adrian’s 18th Birthday.

We all collectively (Adrian alone I guess) decided to go to Sunway Pyramid.

So all of us went in 3 different cars.

Being guys, we have a tough time deciding where to eat. We were torn into so many choices. Dodol wanted McD so that he could join the Big Mac Chant while Edmund wanted McD. When we lastly entered McD, Mr KP syas that we shouldnt go Sunway for McD. So he suggested us to BBQ Plaza.

And we end up in this BBQ and Steamboat kinda restaurant. In such a cooling environment eating Steamboat and BBQ just rocks! I mean where can you get such good food in such great environment right? The food there wasn’t too and it wasn’t too pricey.

We had to sit in 2 seperate tables to enjoy great discounts. So, we did. As usual, my table had Adrian, Edmund and Tun Ching while the other table had Lennard, Dodol, KP and Weng Yew.

To keep things short, don’t let guys do much minor decision making like what to eat. It will turn out miserable.

Me & Edmund trying out something tht was so new
Birthday boy and his I also dunno what 😛
All of us with Adrian’s 4 slices of Secret Recipe cake writing, ‘Happy’ ‘Birthday’ ‘to’ ‘Adrian’

And gosh, I was shocked to receive a letter of offer to join Form Six. The letter writes,’ Tawaran ke Tingkatan Enam Bawah 2008′. And the school I was offered was St John’s Institution, KL and the best thing is I was again offered Science Stream. Well, I am still gonna stay in APIIT and not leave that place of mine with good friends. All in all, GoodBye Form 6

This is it! The moment I saw Pn Norbani‘s name mentioned in Bryan’s blog. I paused and read. I didn’t know what was so captivating about her name that I just paused and got my eyes glued into the computer reading Bryan’s blog. And well, She is leaving St John’s. I felt so heavy to see her go and leave us. She was strict and fierce but it was her that made me strive so hard to succeed for my Mathematics. I jst feel like I’d miss her like soooo much now. I am being bad for probably not appreciating her enough when she was teaching me. I remembered she as the Add Maths head in the school called me early in the morning and was shocked I dropped Additional Mathematics during SPM. I even got lecture from her after getting my results for not taking Additional Mathematics. Now I feel that maybe I could’ve done more? Yes, everyone is making it a big fuss because she is transfering to our rival school VI but I don’t really treat it as something big. Well, we know her.. She goes for the cash and fame! But well, she is good. I remembered how I used to copy my friend’s Maths work and yet she still manages to find out. That is so amazing isn’t it? I hope and wished I can go back to school this Friday to see her leave. I’d never ever forget her as she was one of my best and most hardowrking teacher to ensure my success in not only my SPM but for my future. Pn Norbani: I’d miss you.

As for me, I have been suffering from flu thanks to Dodol and Chern-I. Having a hard time breathing and with constant chest pain.

I hope this post keeps my blog alive for today?

ANYONE?

I admit, it’s costly.. IT IS!

My blog is officially up and updated again. I will hope to constantly update it when I am free.

Hope the new layout attracts you?

I have decided to update my blog since I now study in an IT College and I noticed there are homosapiens reading my blog which I do find it amusing.

I have never said that life was easy in my blog, have I? I must say that life is tough and complicated. Yes, the usual old, slow and negative me. But well, it may be tough but it is not the end because things always ends up the brigther side for me since I entered college. Obviously, I am happy like I mentioned in my previous posts. I also want to add that someone finally REALIZE and made me happy. I know some of you hate the song REALIZE by now. But this guy is finally aware of how much he has been hurting me and now trying his best to ammend this broken heart.

Enough of those story telling.

Sometimes I wonder if I look at things the brighter side, whether it would eventually turned out to be the positive side. I am mentioning jst some things here and it doesn’t apply to everything. My COLLEGE MATES: Don’t tell me that we will hand in OSE on the 14th instead of the 9th. Why wait and get yourself so miserable when she said it is 9th and 14th was just a rumour? RIGHT?

I am sure Mr Tomoro will deny the fact that I am saying that.

I mean when we look at things the brighter side, don’t you think we would end up happier? I used to think that i should always prepare for the worst and just do what I do best– DONT’T CARE! But I am noticing that the more I do that, the worst of the worst happens. And it would definitly goes crazy.

I am talking about faith here. Having faith in something that I think it is possible. However, faith without actions brings you no where too. Well, at least I have learnt my lessons to do and think things the positive way, would you do the same?

With this, I would also like to suggest to those working and studying people to take leave or skip college to attend ROCK CAMP 2008 from 1st-4th June.

You know I do hope to see you there, don’t you?

Be there or be square!