Monthly Archives: October 2008


I don’t know why but I’ve been going through many boy-girl thing. Reading up for debates (men and women), reading blogs (relationships), seeing things around (BGR). It isn’t annoying but it brings me to my senses of the teenagers. Is relationships that important? Hmmm..

i give up?

The moment you see me writing this, I gave up. I gave up not anything else but my QMS Assignment. I tried and tried endlessly to finish up and referring to notes, yet everyone has different answers, everyone has different opinions, everyone has different thoughts. This is really starting to get to me. I just don’t understand the whole question here. It is so frustrating at times where u feel like throwing aside all the work and just argh… This is way worst than Maths subject. At least we got the same answer with different workings. It’s really getting to me. Real hard. I tried. Erased. Redo. Recount. Rewrite. And the whole cycle goes all over again. I seemed so frustrated. Maybe I lacked rest. Maybe I lacked sleep. Maybe I lacked support. Maybe I lacked the wisdom and knowledge. What else is lacking of me? I want to do but yet I can’t. It’s not like I never tried. I tried. You won’t see me often sitting in the room alone doing Numerical Skills-related subject. It’s already an amazing. Having said, life’s not getting that challenging yet. I seek challenge that brings satisfaction. Not by doing QMS. It may be challenging but it doesn’t bring satisfaction. Not at all.


I come to find and see LOVE as such a subjective thing. Something so abstract that one will never understand what it is all about. You can try asking around about what LOVE is, and people will tell you, ‘I don’t know’, ‘Love ar? Love loh’. This would be the usual response people around gives you.

As I was browsing through 3,000 messages of mine in my handphone, I felt so delighted and yet, so solemn. The messages that is still in my phone are mostly selected messages. Mostly is from her(x) and him(bro). The joy and laughter through the sms-es; the fights and arguments through the sms-es. Sometimes I find it so subjective as to what real and true love is all about. We still fight although we love, we still argue although we love. It doesn’t brings much definition to love isn’t it?

Browsing through the many folders in my handphone which basically includes, ‘FWD’, ‘SAR’, ‘APIIT Crazy Classmates’, ‘Birthday Greetings’, ‘Personal’, ‘ROCK’, ‘SPM’, ‘SC’ and so on brought back a lot of memories. I don’t keep sms-es. All the 3,000 over messages are kept throughout the many years. All of it meant somethings to me. And the words uttered are undescribable.

Nevertheless, I’ve not been getting any much lovey dovey messages anymore. Apparently, I don’t use my phone to chat. Or perhaps, the people I used to chat and talked with have found some new love somewhere. I don’t get the words of affirmation I used to get. I don’t get the reports that I used to get. I don’t get the, ‘Hows your day?’ that I used to get and so on and so forth. I am trying not to make believe that I will get it one day and that things will be how it used to be. But I am trying to just move on with life. It sounded easy but I can tell you it is tough.

I don’t know whether the people I love still love me. But one thing I know the God I love still loves me. The ignorant I get, I am getting used to it although it is painful. But what can I do but to stay strong? Giving up may seem a solution but giving up may cause scars that would last forever.

All in all, life goes on.
What is love? I am still trying to re-experience the love I once felt few years ago.

Pulau Pangkor P & P Retreat

I am back from Pulau Pangkor, Perak. It was a refreshing trip for me. Had quite a lot of fun at the place. We sat ferry to Pulau Pangkor from Lumut and back to Lumut. Basically, there is nothing much in Pangkor except for the beaches there. Nothing much significant and amusing except for the flies that are everywhere.

On the first night, at 11pm, the electricity in Pangkor went off. The whole of Pangkor. And our hotel area was only restored the next day at 6pm. The stupid TNB was cursed and sweared at. And was also scolded by us basically. Ruined a lot of our holiday actually. Ice-cream were melted. Meat were rotten. So on and so forth which made it so hard for us to even get food as there is no electric to cook.

All in all, I reached yesterday at 9.30pm. Below are some of the pictures and poses with took at the places we visited =) Do comment! =)

I want to go to another island or another place for holiday and most likely it wouldn’t be Pulau Pangkor anymore.. =)