Location: Starbucks KLCC
I was feeling the pinch when I was in LRT jst now. I saw a parent, perhaps it was parents abusing their children. Not exactly abusing. But it was basically how parents punish and discipline their kids. I saw 2 scenarios. One was when the mother just hit the thigh of a child age 3-4. And the other hit the child aged 7-8, basically hit her on the head and whacked her from the back because she chose to use the other exit from the LRT.
I am not against punishment nor discipline. Neither am I against parents. Let’s just be fair. Kids are naughty. Who isn’t naughty? If a kid isn’t naughty, they aren’t kids. Kids tend to be naughty and there are many different levels of naughty. On the other hand, there are also various level of discipline. What happened was these parents just hit the kids’ head, back, thigh and so on and so forth without even explaining what the kid did wrong.
Not only that, the parents go cursing and swearing at the kids. And telling them all kinds of words kids should not be hearing. They might be naughty, but proper discipline should be carried out instead of just hitting them. Basically I call that abuse. And swearing and demotivating the kids like that? It’s a no-no. The child might not only get inferior in the furture but might have low self esteem and rebelious atitudes when they grow up. The child will then catch hold of these ugly words and do the same thing to their children or friends.
How would the world become if all parents do that to their children? Everyone cursing and swearing. Abusing in public and so on. What is the world gonna be like? Parents should learn to discipline their kids in a right manner. Not just doing it for the sake of doing it. I have not even mention fathers who comes back and abuse their kids after a long day at work or being drunk. Discipline is vital for all children. Doing it in a proper manner will do lots of benefits.
To me, a parents should maybe always gives warnings to their kids. And punish or cane when the rules are breached. And thereafter, explain why the disciplinary was taken and then show care and love to make them feel secure. Children should know that parents loves them and not torture them. When kids knows that you are doing it the right way, they learn to respect you for the way you are for keeping your promises. That, ultimately should be the right way. Not disciplining them without reasons or explanations.
Kids and childrens have feelings. They have a sense of belonging too. What you do is what they do in return. They observe you when you least expect them too. Proper examples has to be shown to the kids. I have personally seen children that behaves really well and acts just like their parents does. They respect and they communicate well.
Parents too should not force and give high expectations to their kids. It kills them. I’ve heard of parents who does that, and when their children does not get the desired results, they cane; they curese; they swear. What is this all about? Every children have their pace of learning. Even adults too. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has ther own unique capabilities. You cannot force a child to excel in a subject you enjoy most because their interest might be different from yours.
I am grateful and thankful to be in a hime where discipline was carried out in a proper manner. When I was young, I go hiding and running when my parents wants to cane me. I go running away when they shout at me for not doing certain things. But as I grew older, I realised it was my fault over certain things. It did got me a lil upset and rebellious at the beginning but after a few days, I know and realise why I got punished, why I got caning. I learnt from it. Even at times when my parents explain to me, I choose to reject and put the blame on others but as I grew older, it kept me thinking that it was all done for my good.
I knew if it was not done, I wouldn’t be who I am now. The confidence in me belongs to my parents who have showered me with care and disciplined me with love. If I wasn’t diciplined, maybe I am someone who is notorious right now. Nevertheless, I know I am the first child, much more expectations were put on me. Much more hope is exerted on me. But not denying the fact that much more love was showered to me too. It was all fair for me, I’d say.
I know many disagrees that punishments should not be carried out. But I can’t imagine a world where there is no discipline. Neither can I imagine a world where all the kids are just loved and cared for. I don’t know how these kids will grow up to be but as for me and my experiences handling kids and talking to people, I know discipline is essential in a home with kids. It may bring pain but the pain is so temporal so that they can learn.
Different approach are needed when the kids grow older. Caning will no longer work. Parents has to be wise in handling their own kids.
Kids are ultimately the cutest things on earth God has created; yet the most notorious ones are the kids themselves too. Let’s be fair to the kids and not abuse them unnecessarily so that they grow up to be a better, wiser and stronger person in the future. I love kids and yet I don’t overly-manja them. Kids indeed does bring colours to one’s lives =)