Hmmm..

I’ve been asking myself so many ‘WHYS’ recently. My life is filled with uncertainties. Be it education, home, personal, etc etc. I find so many doubts in so many areas. The moment I woke up this morning, I doubt about something even more scary. I mean without doubts, there wouldn’t be life isn’t it? We are all humans, we all doubts. But how strong are we to what we have believed in? Will these minor little doubts influence our faith, our trust, our promise?

Many at times, we put on a mask covering who we really are, or perhaps what we really feel inside. I suppose every human has their own flaws which don’t want to be seen by others. But how long can we wear this masquerade? I was asking to myself, when will my Masquerade be over? When I grow older? No? I don’t know myself. I admit that I am often sitting in my comfort zone, doing nothing for the society, sleeping my way through the nights and thinking only about the people I want to think about.

We doubt. We hide. On the other hand, who wants people to see and notice their flaws? But like it or not, we are created in such a way that we have our own strengths and weaknesses, our own flaws. Be it major flaws, or minor ones. It’s still flaws. There still be flaws. But it is comforting to know that we are creating in the image of God.

I’ve been asking WHY especially towards certain issues. The question of WHY remained unanswered. I am persistent to know Why. ‘Why would he allows things to happened?’, ‘Why must it be so bias?’, ‘Why must it be this?’ and ‘Why must it be that’. You may think that it’s normal, but the thing here is that it is starting to make me doubt my own promises and stands. I know I am flashing backs to when things was so good, so well, so perfect.

But I’ve also came to realise that as we grew older, we will face more challenges. We will face more obstacles, we will face more difficulties. But are we going to run away from all of them or are we going to face it with boldness and sail through the storms with courage? We make our own choices. We make our own decisions. We either break ourselves or we make ourselves.

I am filled with doubts. Trying hard to analyse. And I hope I don’t justify. Things is not quite right in my life right now with that person but I don’t know what solutions to take? What to do? Is it still my fault? and Why is it happening?

I hate animals especially ducks. =p