random but it’s all bad!

Don’t ask me why. Don’t ask me how. Don’t ask me directly or indirectly.
SC was just saying that I was posting all good things in my blog lately and she was glad for me. Well, it’s now. I don’t post emo stuffs doesnt mean that I am okay. Sometimes, I find the more I keep things to myself, the more I get hurt. Read below and trust me it’s gonna be random. If you don’t understand. Please just ignore. Probably it makes no sense to you. But I really need to open this bottle of mine.

Things has been bad- between us. As I was driving my dad’s Serena just now to Bukit Jalil and then to Mid Valley, I can’t help but tears just rolled down my cheeks. Coming to think of my foolishness and my stupidity for all the sacrifices I’ve done for you. I find myself just in that ‘foolish mode’. I don’t know whether it was my mistakes or was it the other parties. All I can say now is I am feeling the hurt and pain. Telling myself that white lies like things will be fine just doesn’t work. See my eyes, lack of sleep and much of thinking is enough to kill me. Thinking about what you said last Friday at 1.29pm: ‘Forgive Me’. The 2 words hit me badly. I thought that by respoding everything will be fine. But it seems that since then, I’ve not received any news. Was it the ends for everything? I wished I had an answer. Things has been so rough on me lately. Keeping everything to myself sometimes I just find it hard to breathe. I think speaking it out would probably help a little.

Enough of emo posts.

I know. Kill me for saying this: People who watch too much movies and serials will have a hard time getting a life partner. They often fantasize about the guy/girl in the movie or drama and they just enjoy comparing normal civilians like us to them. I mean when will the standard ever be reached. It’s jsut so freaking annoying at times when people say, ‘Oh, he’s hot.. you’re not’, ‘He’s better’ etc etc. Oh please, they are stars, they may appear sweet, nice, hot and innocent in front of the tv but who knows what happens behind the scene. I am not saying that people are comparing me. But their mindset is just so fixed. Get real! Stop dreaming that he’d be your husband and so on and so forth. If you keep comparing, you will never get attached. It’s somewhat annoying. You may think I am jealous but heck NO!

This boils down to one word- MINDSET! Many knows I hate the people with Chinese school mindset. I don’t hate Chinese school but I hate those who adapts Chinese school mindset and mentality. Example; selfishness? Can really annoy you.

I am busy. I will catch on with this as soon as possible!